The Bad, the Good and the Ugly

[Tuco is in a bubble bath. The One Armed Man enters the room]
One Armed Man : I've been looking for you for 8 months. Whenever I should have had a gun in my right hand, I thought of you. Now I find you in exactly the position that suits me. I had lots of time to learn to shoot with my left.
[Tuco kills him with the gun he has hidden in the foam]
Tuco :When you have to shoot, shoot, don't talk

"The Good, the Bad and the Ugly"

See, I didn't get the order wrong in the title, I know what I'm talking about (but then again, you knowing that I am the the "World's Greatest Poker Blogger Ever" wouldn't make a rookie mistake like that, wuold I?). This was how my weekend went - The Bad, The Good and the Ugly.

THE BAD

After a solid week playing, and some fine result especially in the SNG, I was pumped to get back into it on Friday night, and when I learned that the distractions would all be getting home late from work...well, everything was falling into place. I stepped into a few of the larger limit SNG and even took my money back to the $5 maximum $0.05/$0.10 tables. The SNG were over before the began, and I think I was out in 9th or something equally disgusting. At the Aloha tables, I bought in for the maximum $5, because I have already learnt that lesson, and tried my luck. I think my stack was it's largest before the first card was dealt, and I was going down in a hurry. It wasn't really due to bad play on my part, but it certainly wasn't good play. It was TPTK loosing to two small pair, or two pair loosing to a set, straights getting beaten by a bigger straight. I was disgusted when a smaller stack went all in and I followed with JJ and was beaten by 46s when three spades flopped. I am noticing that JJ seems to be one of the hands I loose a lot on - maybe because I put too much value in them. Any pre-flop raise I made with strength was folded around to me for the big win of 7 cents. Any pre-flop raise made by me in late position with no action before it was met with 6 callers. It was that kind of night for me. I had lost the $5 in very quick time. But at least I was aware now that title could be an issue - "Know Thyself" - and I can improve from here. I went to the fridge, grabbed a beer and came back to the computer ready to start again and I topped up with another $5. I mean, if you are going to have a bank roll, you may as well use it.

I have been reading the "Tao of Poker", as you know, and I am finding it very easy to read and interesting as a beginner's book. One of the rules (which I will try to recall as well as I can) was about how selective the human memory is. When we win a big pot with some hand, we remember that for a long time. We forget about the other 20 times we lost little amounts on this hand, and it becomes our "Lucky Hand!" I have seen people go all in with 69 because "it's just a thing with me and my buddies." There is no poker sense tied to this what-so-ever. You may as well bet blindly while clutching your lucky socks. I know this. I am not a superstitious person, I don't even believe in horoscopes (but then again, that's typical of a Leo. Boom-tish. Try the veal.). However, here's a little history lesson. In my home town of Broken Hill, football is very important. There are four teams in the town and my family has always been tied with the North Broken Hill Bulldogs. Dad, my two brothers, my two uncles, and my Grandfather all wore the number 3 for North, as did I at one stage or another. But when I was playing basketball for some time you were not allowed numbers below 4, so I wore number 6 and this became my favorite number. Fast forward to recent times, when I was first getting into online poker, on one hand I was dealt 63o in the BB and got to see the flop - a beautiful 633. It's back in the archives somewhere, but I couldn't be arsed to look for it. I won again later on with the same hand when it became a full house again. On this day in questions however, I am dealt the "lucky" 63o in middle position. I think to myself, this is my lucky hand, I should limp with this. The bet is raised, but only by the minimum. Come on, I can still call that. I'm only down to $3.25, what's another ten cents? Then finally the voice of reason comes over me and says "Hey champ, you may be the 'World's Greatest Poker Blogger Ever', but 63 off is a piece of shit. Throw it down and it will cost you nothing.". Damn that voice of reason, he always spoils my fun. So I did, I folded it and lost nothing. Of course, the flop comes 33T, and I chuckle to myself. Lots of action too, the pot is over $1 now. Then the killer...the turn is 3. I had quads. The final card was a Queen I think, but I couldn't see it properly through the tears in my eyes. The pot was getting bigger too, like $4 or so as both the remaining two people had a full house. I guess this is what they mean by making the right decisions and loosing. What can you do? It wasn't long before I lost when AQ lost to JJ and I had blown $10, 1/3 of my entire bankroll. I decided I had lost enough for the night and would be better served turning it off.

THE GOOD

Saturday morning, and we have a few hours before we have to go shopping again. I think right, I am going to get one of my $5 chunks back damn it. I log back into Aloha and put another $5 on the table, and go into a smaller SNG at Poker Pages to boot. That was a great SNG, as I think I knocked out the first five players to eventually finish in second when a coin flip put me in the small stack, then lost with a kicker. It was good though, still a profit on the game and I was happy with my play. At Aloha, I had some early wins with absolute crap, but nobody would push me off the pot. I would have, say second pair, and I was able to limp all the way to the end - then somebody would try a see through bluff for like $0.20. I was folding a lot of hand though, which is fine by me. At these micro limits, you can't expect the standard to be too high, that's a given. I hate it when people come into a micro limit table (no doubt with money they won on the free rolls anyway) and bitch about the other people making bone headed plays. Guess what, that's standard down here. I don't care how much of a big time card shark you think you are, you have to adapt to the game. Anyway, this clown in mouthing off in the chat (the fact that his $7 was the biggest at the table didn't help matters), and I'm sick of it. One of my weakest points is that I feel the need to be policeman at the table - and the bouncer too. On one hand, me with $6 plus change and in middle position, I pre-flop raise $0.40. 1 caller then to the mouth in late position, and he re-raises me another $0.50. I think for about one minute about this mouth going off, and decide this is it, lets see how pissed off he really is. I re-re-raise all-in. He posts something in the chat box about beating up noobs or something similar, and calls me. He has AJs. I have the bullets, and the board helps neither of us. I take down the pot and start laughing at how I lost twice yesterday then made it all back plus some small profit in one hand. Life was good, and it was kind sad how much my mood really picked up after that. I won again on the next hand, but only about $0.40 and then got folded the hand after that post-flop. I took this chance to stand up and leave as my job was over. Hey, that reminds me, go and read the post titled "Pimplicious...so to speak" over at Project $10,000.00 No Limit Style about taking on the bullets. Live and learn people, live and learn.

THE UGLY

After a few hours of shopping, we were back home with a few hours to kill before going out for the night. I decided my good fortune may continue and I fired up both poker sites again. I put another $5 down on the table at Aloha and got the bigger limit SNG going on Poker Pages. I was not getting any cards at Aloha but hadn't lost much money, only really playing a few hands and they were not good enough to see the river. I was down to just below $4. At the SNG, I was ready to play my first hand as I too had folded a lot but was just dealt pocket fives - enough to limp in my language - when something happened.

For no reason, my windows settings changed to the classic setting, and then back again. Somebody was on my computer. I am not an expert as I have stated before, but I know when something is wrong. In a matter of seconds I had turned the modem off and disconnected. Some hours later after getting advice from a friend who knows a little more about computers than I, I ran AdAware that can pick up any Spyware or key logger programs. Well, this thing picked up about 200 odd files that were suspicious, but before the scan could end a window popped up saying that "Windows will be shutting down in 59 seconds" because some process was interrupted. I believe that the rouge programs that were put onto the computer did this as a trap to stop the shit from getting erased. This means I could be in big shit. It also means the end for poker for now, and I can not risk going online at home until I get somebody out to have a look at the system and fix it, hopefully without formatting the whole thing. If anybody can give me a word of advice, that would be much appreciated.

So if my posts for the next week or so seem to be short, off topic or invisible, please forgive me as I have no choice. The good news is I am nearly 100% confirmed for live game action this Saturday night - with each closing day I feel I am closer to being there with the cards in the air.

On the movie front, we had a little get together yesterday to talk about one of the other projects I have in mind, and it looks like it is coming along just fine. No details yet, but if this one goes ahead it will be great because it is easy to shoot (kind of documentary format) but will take an entire year to do. It would make a great TV series when finished though, such is the format. See how we go.

Got to watch "The Girl Next Door" on the weekend, as well as finally getting around to "Office Space". First off "The Girl Next Door" stars Elisha Cuthbert, who my roommate Mitch is in love with. This movie is a lot funnier that I thought it would be, and I really liked it. He hasn't had a chance to see it yet, and we have him coninved that she does a topless scene near the end. It's not just your average teenage sex comedy, there is a little more to it which I liked. Sure, it's no "American Pie", but it is different is a good way if you catch my drift. "Office Space" is what it is, lots of people love this movie and for good reason. It's sure to pop up in my quotes before long.

Love this post from Dr. Pauly" titled "Dr. Pauly, $11, and the the Australian Poker Championships". Man, that would be awesome if everything works out. This could help the Australian Poker Scene to no end, as I believe this is the first time the prize for the winner is over $1 million Australian Dollars, or about $690,000 US.The Crown casino is an awesome sight for somebody who has never been to Vegas. It is probably as big as all the other casinos in Australia put together. It is also the only casino in Australia that plays poker. Best of luck Dr. Pauly, hope I see you "down under".

The flood is over

Sergeant O'Rourke : Agarn, I don't know why everybody says you're so dumb!
Corporal Agarn : Who says I'm dumb?

"F-Troop"

Even though that show ended decades before I was born, I still thought it was good.

Just a very short post today as I wish to tell the world that after two weeks of drought on the poker front, I was finally able to quench my thirst. I am not sick of poker by any means, just that I have played solid hours the last few days and the "need" to play has now subsided. Suppressions, my play has never been better. Out of four SNG's last night my finishes were first, first, seventh and first - not a bad effort (if only they were higher stakes!). That means I made more than a dime on the night. Yeah I know, I'm Australian and we don't have dimes but all my winnings are in US currency, so I think it is ok.

At one of the tables it was me and nine Americans, 6 from California. Man, poker must be popular out there (from this sample size of 10). On one hand I had pocket Jacks and when two smaller stacks in front made a modest raise and call, I pushed. They both followed and showed pocket tens and nines to my Jacks. Naturally the nines made a set and took the pot, leaving me with $125, with blinds at $100/$200 it looked like I would be out in 9th. But I was dealt The Puppy again when UTG, and I pushed (well, what else could I do?). With lots of callers, a pair of kings on the flop was enough to put me up to $800. At least I had something to play with now. I plugged away and kept at it, eventually limping into the money in third position. I caught the big stack with his hand in the cookie jar (sorry, I've just read that saying on about 6 different blogs and I was feeling left out) and managed to take a big enough chunk out of him to even things up. I think the other two guys were sick of it by this stage, because they were going all-in on nearly anything. I waited until I had a good enough hand, and found 2 pair on the flop and pushed. Both met me, and I knocked them out at the same time to take home the big money (a nickel - of which 1 cent was my entrance fee). I was pretty happy with that effort and coming from so far behind to win, surrounded by foreigners. Made me feel like an ANZAC even (if you don't know what that means, look it up.).

Later at another SNG, there were 3 other Australians. I was amazed, but happy that it looks like the game is getting more popular down under. This however was the game where I dropped out in seventh. In one of the other games I won, I have to say it was the cards and not me that got me to the money. With about 7 people left, I had pocket 7's which became a full house on the turn - good enough to double up. The very next hand I am dealt A4o, which I thought wasn't good enough to call. But then I remember some body much wiser than me saying that rushes do happen, and when they do you should give yourself every chance of hitting those cards. Play the hand after you win a big pot, they say. I had already clicked the pre-action button to fold, but changed my mind with a nano-second to spare and called. The flop came AA4, and I was pretty happy with that result. Back to back boats - wish I could see that action more often. I was also able to lay down a straight in a three way pot later on, which turned out to be a good move. The other players had a higher straight and a flush so I was well covered. Good move, I was happy with that and didn't feel any anger at throwing away what would usually be a winner. I guess I am improving slowly.

It looks like I will be able to get plenty of play in this weekend, and my first live game for real money is 99% certain for the Saturday after next. Lets home the money keeps flowing my way!

Jackass and loving it

Steve-O : You know it's when like your parents said "I'm not mad at you, just disappointed" You know that hurt so much more.

"Jackass - The Movie"

It looks like blogger is playing up a bit. I couldn't post yesterdays writing until earlier today, but at least it didn't get deleted this time. Remember guys, always save as a draft first even if it is finished!

had a good night playing poker online. I tried out the new (to me) site Bet365 Poker for the $200 free rolls. Already I love this site. The display is very good without being too busy or anything, which is cool by me. The speed of the rooms is fantastic though, and you can really motor through the hands which is great, because after playing at Aloha I really get pissed at when it takes ages to go from flop to turn or from one hand to the next. This software and servers are by far the best I have used. Also, for a 2000 person tournament, you expect it to take some time so the faster the rooms move the better. Secondly, the free roll has no re-buys are add ons (woo hoo!) so once you are out, it is all over baby. And how is the competition there? Well, as you know I was only on the free rolls, but it was pretty easy with the odd decent player. No better or worse than Poker Pages or Aloha.

In the first hand at Bet365 I was dealt big slick and wanted to make a small raise. Since this was my first time playing at this site though, I made a bit of a mistake and instead of raising $40 I raised $400 (starting stacks are $1,000). Another player called and eventually I won at the showdown with two pair, Aces and kings. not a bad way to start and already I am well above the pack. I continued to get fairly decent cards and I moved up to $5,000 before too long. I was busting out a few people, playing very well and still being prepared to lay it down when need be. I still feel I only played one bad hand (isn't that always the way?). It was down to about 1100 people left, and I was ranked 58 or so, second at my table to somebody who must have been ranked in the 40's. I am dealt A5c in the big blind and get to see the flop for nothing. The flop shows 439, two clubs. Small bet, I call. The turn is the queen of hearts, and the other player moves all in. Now I have a straight draw and a flush draw, I think I look ok. This is usually one of my strong points - I don't get lost in a pot when I have a drawing hand. This guy was all in for about $6K to my $5.5K and I had about a dozen outs. But I do not have a hand, all I have is Ace high and a few draws. I don't really know why, but I called the all in and he flipped over a pair of queens and nines. The river didn't help me and I was out before the 1000 mark. I did enjoy it though, and I had a good run with hands like AK and KQ and the like. I'm not forking out for poker tracker to see just how well I did go and which hands work and how often I get them so on and so forth. I like the idea, it's very appealing to me and I would find it very interesting (and educational I guess), but I can not afford to fork out the $50 for it since that is more than my bank roll already. Anyway, moral of the story is Bet365.com is great, I'll be there more often from now on.

My Poker Pages account was getting pretty low, down to 20 odd points due to some shocking losses and crappy play. I went in there last night though with a mission. I was going to put half my bank roll into a SNG and play it like I wanted it. I made some good moves early on and busted out the first player to move myself into a very modest chip lead. From there I folded a lot, and even stole a few pots with absolutely nothing. I am learning more and more and people in these games are uber-tight (by the way, I love the word "uber" ever since SSX Tricky. Ok, so I'm a video game addict too). I was in there when I had the best of it, took it when nobody else did and kept my mouth shut when I didn't. This one little SNG was the most solid play I have ever exhibited, and I was quietly proud of the 50 cents I collected upon winning.

I also had time for two of the free rolls over on Aloha. The first one was kinda fun as I played as stupid as possible - a total jackass to be sure, and boy was it great. I was all in on every second hand it seemed like. As I always say, with these tournaments you need to make a move very early and double up when you can because the starting stacks are only 10 BB. I moved all in with AJo, and stole the blinds. Not what I wanted, but I guess you take what you are given. A few hands later, I go all in again with big slick. Again, they all fold around to me. This happens a few more times, and by now I have the full "distractions" in place. I get K9, "The Puppy" and decided that was good enough to go all in too. I get one other caller and we split the pot with a pair of kings. The chat box is no livid with me - I have become that asshole who goes all in every hand. They even said "He gets something above a ten, he goes all in" - all I can say is "welcome to the free rolls!" I never did double up (if I did, I would have stopped the all ins as my goal is achieved), but eventually I went all in with a's, and had two callers with T8 and A9. Both and 8 and a 9 on the flop, and I was out the door and down to the supermarket before the other players knew what was happening. It was a different experience being the one that every one wants gone from the table. I really wish I did catch one or two of them and double up then play properly. It was good though that I did not have to make any tough decisions, it was all on them. If they want to bitch and moan about how crappy the play or players are, maybe they should invest some real money! On the second tournament I was traveling well, up to about $2000 when I lost a decent chunk to one player at the table. I wanted revenge, and the very next hand I am dealt J'S. He calls, as do a few others and I decide to push. The others fold, and he thinks about it and then follows me in. Naturally, he had the bullets and I am gone when they turn into a set. Wow, he wiped me out from about 5th over all in two hands. I should have checked it out to see how he went and if my chips helped him to some cash.

Back on Poker Pages, in another MT I busted out early way out of the money (but the penultimate episode of season 1 Joe Schmo Show was on, so I really wanted to get off to watch that instead. Well, any excuse for my bad play). Again, there was some body complaining about one particular bad beat they had in a previous game. Big deal, but hey I guess they felt like getting off their chest. About 10 minutes later I again have J'S and after a flop of Jd Tc 2h, I push and get called by the whiner, who has a stack about two-thirds the size of mine. He flips over Ah 5h and gets their flush through the turn and the river. I had to laugh at that one, as who ever was on duty to rig the online card rooms that day certainly had a sense of humor. Lets have a look at the odds though. At the start I was a 66% chance, after the flop this becomes a 63% and after the turn I'm still at 63%. Hm, not really I bad beat I guess but it was funny in the moment to loose to a runner-runner flush just after he was complaining about loosing to a 6 outer or something. I hung around for a little while until I was knocked out on a hand I can't remember.

Naturally I was most pleased with the way I played in the first SNG, and that really put me in the mood to add a few more hours to my play for the night. While my net profit was a masterful 50 cents, I was just really happy to be playing. That's why I love poker I guess. I made a start on "The Tao of Poker" book as mentioned in previous posts, and it is good for a beginner like myself. It is just a set of rules you should follow for poker - stuff along the lines of not getting yourself into a hole early. Plenty of quotes from pros and other such noble men, I will post more about it when I get past the first 20 pages.

Wow, that's nearly an entire post without going off an a tangent. Oh well, I guess I better do that now. Kevin Smith is supposivly making a sequel to "clerks"...I am a huge Kevin Smith fan. I thought "Dogma" and "Mallrats" were hilarious, "Clerks" and "Chasing Amy" were great for their audience and "Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back" was the greatest gift to a directors fans there ever has been. "The Passion of the Clerks", which may be just a working title or hoax, might be just the wrong timing. I never saw "Jersey Girl", but understand it wasn't really a hit (but then again, none of the others were really box office smashes), and I don't know if this is the right move for him. Sure, some fans will worship it no matter what happens (which even if the answer is "nothing", doesn't differ that much from the first) and critics will no doubt hate it. I really hope if he does do it is it fantastic, but I am a little worried.

Plugging time, and I must say I enjoy reading Go Be Rude by DuggleBogey. His most recent post is about the metamorphosis that (hopefully) most poker players go through from Rock to Fox. My thoughts are that this is one of the major steps in any poker players growth, and profit don't forget. Worth a read, and I have added it to the roll on the side.

That will be all for today, hopefully I get a few more tournaments in tonight and keep the bank roll on the rise.

Cheers

Here today, tomorrow...

Frank : It's true what they say: Cops and women don't mix. It's like eating a spoonful of Drano, sure it'll clean you out, but it'll leave you hollow inside.

"Naked Gun"

Thanks to everone who responded to the request below for advice on re-buys and add ons. I think they confirm what I already thought but it was good to hear anyway, and some extreme examples to boot.

Last night's poker experience was pretty crap. Firstly, the distractions were present as she got home from work before I did, so all was not well from the get go. Secondly, it seems the structure at Poker Pages has changed slightly, and where before a few of the better paying free rolls were perfectly timed with my schedule, they are now worth a little less and at more akward times. Secondly, the sever at Aloha was down so I couldn't even get over there to have a crack at some more games. I played a few of the SNG at Poker Pages instead, and ended up with one second out of 3, but sadly one of the losses was at the larger limit. I got rivered by a pair of aces to kick me out, but not much you can do there. I was playing solid, and tried to loosen up little bit. From the big blind I was even able to take down a pot with 4 callers and a flop of A J J when I had the hammer. I solid bet of 3BB was enough to scare everyone off, and I was quietly proud of myself that I had the table image to pull it off. I recognised a few of the names at the table, so maybe they have notes on me that are actually working against them.

I don't know why really, but I was very concerned about Aloha being off line. As everyone knows, an online poker site really needs to be "online" in order to be turning a profit. I have already questioned the profitability of Aloha, but since the free rolls pay I will continue to stay there for as long as needed. But if the site goes bust, I guess my entire bank roll of $30 US goes with it. That would be a real heart breaker for me, and I think I will need to start my own telethon if that should happen. "Help save Poker On Film", I'm sure the celebs will be in for that cause. After all, who doesn't want to help the "World's Greatest Poker Blogger Ever". Do you think that statement looses any of its value if I say "WGPBE" instead? Probably not.

I have been inclined lately to extend the amount of starting hands I go with. it's weird, I don't mind seeing a flop with KTo, but shy away from something like 89 suited. A6 looks nice, but not 66. I know that when short handed I have to open up a little, and especially in the SNG where action is needed, but I think my tendancy to only play AA-AJ agressive makes me really pissed when they loose. Hey, we'll keep plugging away to see what works.

Damn, Aloha better be up and running tonight, otherwise I'll loose my mind. I also had another really tragic moment last night when I noticed a MTT for buy in of 30BBPs. At the time, I had a little over 40 but was already enrolled in a 10 point SNG. I tried to get out of the SNG so I could go in the tourny (first place was over 1000 points, or ten dollars in normal language) because there were only 80 people registered to play. Sadly I was not in time and the 10 points were taken from my account before i got to enter the tournament. I didn't place in the money either, and besides by the time I got knocked out the MTT had already started. I was disapointed, as that would have been more fun and of course any finsih in the money would be worth a lot more.

I will be trying out a new site very soon, Bet365. Another player talked about the site during a game a few weeks back and mentioned that they have $200 free rolls daily. I had a look and the timing of these free rolls works well for me, but they do have over 2000 players in them. Oh well, I might give it a try and see what the competition looks like over there. You'll get my reports on this site as soon as I get a chance to play there. When I read all the other blogs out there, everyone sings the praises of party, empire, pacific and ultimate bet most often. All these sites mean nothing to me, as they require me putting my own hard earned down. Besides the fact that would be against the rules I have put into place for myself, do you know how damn hard it is to deposit into these sites from Australia? Well it's even harder to get the money back out! I don't think Australia will ever catch up to the rest of the poker playing nations. If we ever do, you can guarantee I will be at the front line waving the flag and asking for comments from Dawn Fraser.

True to form I will only add one mroe blog to the roll at the side here at a time. Again I find myself with a few decent ones in the pipeline to be added, and my list seems to be growing at a rate that soon I wont have much time to do anything else but read blogs.

Ok, the very first thing that impressed me about Sound of a Suckout is Scurvy Dog's own description of the site (as recently pimped on Iggy's):

"Yet another blog about a wanna-be poker player cruising the lower limit waters, improving his fishy game, trying to build a bankroll"

Sounds good to me. Call it like it is! He seems to be on a bit of a run of late, and getting into the satelites, even if he doesn like calling himself a donkey. This is a really good blog to read, really enjoyable. Come on, you gotta love an endorsement like that from the "WGPBE"! Ok, I promise that is the last time I use that acronym. Oh, and I love the "Nice Bluff" comment from his post titled "El Burro". I wonder, I know that means the donkey in spanish, but did he get the idea from that title from Grand Theft Auto? I would have. But then again, here in Oz we don't learn another language unless we really have to. I mean what's the point, we don't share borders with anyone!

Not much else to go on with really. Can't find the New York, New York casino cards at home at the moment. They were the best ones too. I have a small hope that I may be getting some KEM cards for christmas this year, but that is just a fleeting hope. I will try to post again tomorrow with some more good fortunes from the land of the free rolls, so here's to ya!

A few new things.

Layla : So two guys you were best friends with in law school fell in love with each other?
Sonny : Yeah.
Layla : Is that strange for you?
Sonny : Uh, nothing changed really. They watch a different kind of porno now.

"Big Daddy"

Finally! I got to put in some quality time last night on the digital poker tables, and I tried out a few new things for me (see, it wasn't just a clever title). First off, I entered my first non free roll tournament, and then I tried my hand at some micro limit tables, and even ventured away from no limit holdem for a little while.
Over on Aloha, I had a look at the tournaments ready to roll, and the next free roll was a few hours away still. Having a look, I decided to try my hand at the $2 + $0.20 Seven card stud hi/lo. I have played a few free rolls and play money seven card hi/lo game before, and I have usually done very well at them. This is either because a) none of the others know how to play it properly, b) I have had a dream run with cards or c) I'm just really good at this game. I thought it was best to have a shot at this tournament to see where I stand, and here are a few observations of the tournament.

Most noticeably, it is far less popular than holdem, we all know that. Only 23 people sat down at the table to play. Nobody believes in folding pre-flop, which I think you still should do if you have crap like 3 8 Q or the like. I don't like having drawing hands in any type of poker, I need something to start with. Also as a general rule I do not use re-buys or add ons. I'd like to hear what other people think about this as in this particular tournament it was very popular - 23 re-buys and 6 add ons. The starting prize pool was $46, in the end first place got over $60. What are everybody's opinion on re-buys? Please post them below. I do not re-buy or add on because I prefer to win with what I was given, no mulligans no do-overs. But then again I suppose I didn't win and somebody that went the re-buy route did, so where does that leave me? Because of that style of play, every other player was seeing at least 5 cards, where I was the only one prepared to fold before seeing 4. Was this too conservative? I only pulled one half-pot when I was the only person who qualified for a low and took bugger all from that. I was out in 22nd, but really higher than that because there was already 15 or so re-buys at that stage. I never even looked like taking a high pot, but maybe that is because I was folding a lot more than everyone else. I would really like to hear everybody's comments on re-buys and seven card stud hi/lo in general.

Time marches on and I try my hand at the SNG at Poker Pages as I usually do. I play the 1 BBP mostly, and occasionally the 10 BBP + 1 BBP tables if I feel game. I won my first at 1 BBP in quite good fashion, and then placed 3rd in another when my AQo on a flop of (3 Q 8) was beaten by a pair of threes. There was a third Queen on the river, but it was no good by then as my set was beaten by a full house, but I was in the money anyway. Feeling good, feeling pumped I decided to throw in the big bucks ($0.11 to be exact) and try the bigger limit. First hand I am dealt AKs, and I raise. Two callers, one re-raise. Since you only start with 15 BB, the re-raiser had put in about 11BB to the pot. I went all-in over the top of him as I thought he didn't have AA or KK as he would have gone all-in instead of almost all in. He pauses for a moment, then calls and shows Q9o. What luck, that is a piece of shit hand to go all-in with on the very first throw. Naturally, a 9 fell on the flop and I never improved. Yesterday I get beaten by K9, today was Q9. I was surprised at myself how annoyed I was at that hand. That is something I will have to work on I think. I really like to make a move early and it cost me here.

I also decided that after loosing my $2.20 at the seven card stud I should win that back to make the day a positive, as I was now down about $2.30 or so, or nearly 10% of my bankroll. Everybody talks about table selection, and I know nothing about it. That's another reason why I like the tournaments because the table selection is done for me. But at least I did think about it this time, and I think I made a good call. I looked at the $0.05/$0.10 tables (the lowest possible here) and saw that while the maximum buy in was $5, the five people sitting down were all under that amount. Now everybody can afford to sit down with the maximum at this table, only an idiot would walk in with half of that amount (as I have done twice before), so this leads me to believe that somebody else was at the table, won a few dollars off these schmucks and then left. This means that everybody at this table could possibly be pissed off, and poor at poker. Well, with no more knowledge than that I put my $5 down and decided to sit for a while to make up for my tournament loss earlier.

Again, I decided to try something different. I am a very tight player, and not aggressive enough so I decided to see if I could change that just for this game and see how it went. First hand, dealt poker pair and I take it down. There, that was easy. I set myself a goal now of not only making back the lost tournament entry but I must turn a profit as well. Up and down I go, and I manage to scare a few people away from the pots I wanted. There seems to be one more player who is slightly aggressive but I keep pushing off pots. I know he is gunning for me now. In one hand, with very little action on the flop I bet with a pair of Queens on the turn, he calls. The river is an ace and I bet again, but this time bigger. 10 BB bigger, a full dollar. He thinks, calls time and thinks some more, then calls and shows a pair of aces. Damn, maybe I was trying too hard to be aggressive. That put me back below the starting point of $5. I work my way back up slightly then I see a smaller stack go all in pre-flop and I have the Hiltons. Yeah, I say it is worth a call - he shows 43 suited, and I take this one big pot to put me over $9 and it is see ya later, I'm out of here. I made my little profit and dinner was ready 2 minutes later, so it was a good night of poker for me. The hit and run was limiting my profit, but I had set myself a goal and then had achieved it, so I will leave the rest till some other time.

I did sit down at another free roll tournament a little later, but not much excitement happened for me. I did see on the very first hand again three people go all-in. They showed AA, KK and 77. A seven on the river means that AA and KK both got cracked on the very first hand and were sent packing. Wow, that used to be me that happened to. I was eventually knocked out when my jack high flush was beaten by an ace high flush. So-so play, didn't really make any waves but made it to about half way I think.

So that was quite a poker binge to quench my thirst, and I did turn a profit so I guess you have got to be happy with that. I am still really puzzled by the seven card stud, but I'm sure I will improve with experience on that.

Looking around the blogging kingdom, with me still being the "World's Greatest poker Blogger Ever", I have noticed some nice work from TTRoadster over at Poker roadtrip. Nice style going there, and I have the nerve to complain about my "distractions" at home. This guy has a 10 month old baby to contend with! Well done on getting 4 consecutive second place finishes in the SNG's, any win is a good win I always say (but rarely adhere to). It is a nice blog and is now added to my poker reading activities.

That will do for now, and I hope to get some more quality time in tonight to continue my experimentation and maybe add a few more bucks to the tally. Please, if you have read this far then post some comments about seven card stud and re-buys in tournaments, I am really clue less about this so far.

Cheers

The drought continues

Mordred :Die, dear Auntie Mab? Why, that's the last thing I shall do.

"Merlin"

Well here I am after another weekend that was severely poker-deficient. At least I did get a few SNG's in, including a win and some places, and the book "Tao of Poker" from Uwannabet arrived today. That's not a bad effort since it was supposed to take 4 to 6 weeks. Speaking of Uwannabet, he has a good tournament write up over there at the moment, I say it's worth a read.

I managed to win the first SNG I played in on Saturday night, but I'll be damned if I could remember how I did it. I remember having about 2/3 of the chips going into heads up, other player pushed and I called with AJo, he had Kx or something and it was all over for a win. It's funny though, I remember the other games better where I finished 4th or worse. In one game, the very first hand I am UTG and I have AJc, I make the minimum raise of $50 and everyone folds. Wow, *that* was enough to scare them all off? This should be a laugh. What followed was some of the worst cards I have ever seen. I could not make a play if I wanted to. Every hand was raised pre-flop and I had nothing over a ten, and all of them 3 gappers at best. It was disgraceful. Meanwhile, the player two seats to my right has three consecutive hands of QQ, QQ and KK to knock a few guys out and take a major chip lead (although he eventually blew it and I think finished 4th or 5th, with top 3 paying). He is pulling pocket pairs out of his ass and I am stuck with the Rock Lobster (52 - I just made that one up too, because of the B 52's song? Ah, forget about it!). Anyway, after about 3 orbits of folding, I get AKo in the big blind. I have about 2.5BB left, so I push all in after 2 callers. They both fold. I know I was playing very tight, but come on I had no chances to get in except for this hand without going for a very risky bluff with rags in my pocket. Maybe I should have tried it? Never the less, I march on with my second pot win and second blind steal. Pretty soon after that I call a bigger stack's all-in when I have AJ. They flip over K9, and the first card on the flop is a K. The river is a 9 just to rub it in, and I am out before the money. This really hurt because I was so keen to play, but being very late at night and tired and starved of action, I was more than pissed at the level of cards I was getting. Oh well, what can you do?

So here is how the weekend panned out. I have Serena's parents staying with us for 3 days, so that means a lot of time spent doing touristy things. I get along fine with her parents, but besides the fact we have both seen their daughter naked at some stage we don't have a lot in common. I like sports, movies and poker, they like looking at mountains and shopping for hand bags. It's that kind of deal. Don't get me wrong, they are really nice people but I'm just saying the common ground is very thin. And I am a little resentful that their presence limits my poker playing hours quite dramatically, so that may be a part of it.

On Friday night I rush home from work with my new wireless broadband modem. No more drop outs, no more dial ups, no more getting blocked from poker by long phone calls - this should be the golden age of my online poker existence. I spent all of 5 minutes setting the modem up and it works like a champ. The signal is only half strength from our apartment, but that hasn't caused a problem yet. But then I have to explain why there is no hours limit on the broad band, and why ever single web page make you download something. No matter, life goes on. I manage to get in exactly 0 minutes and 0 seconds of poker right away. After dinner, we sit down to view photos from their recent trip to New Zealand. They were quite impressive, and you can practically see the Fellowship walking through those mountains. Lots of snow, ice and scenery. Then after that we settle in to watch Marry Poppins on TV. I am very displeased when I learn this has been decided upon, and even less impressed when nobody laughs at my Sherry Bobbins jokes. I guess you have to be a fan to get that one. I'm bloody tired after a week at work, and go to bed without any poker to stave off my withdrawal symptoms.

Saturday brings about a horrible beast - shopping. We went to 2 different markets on the Saturday and the dreaded Westfields Parramatta on the Sunday. I have seen enough shops to last me a life time now. Saturday night however, I had a plan. We were going out for tea, and I was planning on sneaking out after that for some live game action as I mentioned in my last post. My plan was foiled two-fold thusly: First, we were so busy looking at the markets and generally wandering around Sydney on foot that we had a very late lunch. Late lunch means late even later dinner. I was hoping to get out for tea as early as possible, but this was now shot down. Second of all, we decided to go to Hog's Breath Cafe for tea. Every body knows the Hog's Breath, the food is pretty decent and all but the wait is hell. We get seated 30 minutes after we arrive, have our orders taken 15 minutes later and actually get the meals an hour after that. This was not looking good. When we got home, I knew I couldn't leave for a poker game, so I would have to wait until everyone was ready for bed and then go out and hope they were not too pissed when I came home at 3am. Somehow, everybody was wide awake and looking forward to watching a movie. Ok ok, this isn't all that bad I guess. We have a great movie collection, they can't go wrong there. I mean, we tried to show them "The Office" the other night and it did not go well, but there is still hope right? Right? No, I should not have been so optimistic. Out of the three network channels available, there was AFL football on one, which I love. On another was the made for TV movie "Merlin" starring Sam Neil which I quoted above, and again I think is brilliant. I love this movie, even if it does go for 3 hours. What did the third network choose to show? Bedknobs and fucking broomsticks! After seeing Angela Lansbury in a mock cheerleaders outfit towards the end, I was finished. I had been beating into submission as footy and knights of the round for passed up for bedknobs and broomsticks. A pinball machine in the leaning tower of Pisa would be showing less tilt than me at the moment. There was no chance for me to leave now. My dreams shattered, I retired for the evening.

Sunday comes, I get a few quick games in before breakfast but cut them short when every one else gets up. Back to the shops and then I even went for an afternoon nap so that I could be awake all night to play some tonight after the parents have flown home. Well, to save some coin the opted for a really late flight out, and because the weather had turned foul Serena was not confident enough to drive them out there and back on her own. Coupled with the fact that the last time she drove to the airport in the rain she got a ticket for running a red light, and I am on driving duties. After a quick call to Dad for father's day (I got him "the Office" on DVD as well) we are off and by the time we get back, "The Last Castle" is on TV. I haven't seen this in a while and out of some sanity I know that if I play poker now, I will be throwing money away. Despite my afternoon nap I am still dead tired and thus the weekend ends with very little poker action from me. I don't know how long this will last, but hopefully with the new connection at home I will be getting in some quality time this week.

I have been noticing a lot of bloggers lately have really been hitting the SNG's big time. When I was first into the blogging scene, it was all $2/$4 and $3/$6 tables, with the odd tournament for laughs. Now the SNG's seem to be the main flavor. I like that, how the main games change, it keeps the interest up I feel. I always prefer tournament play because there is obviously a greater return if you win, be it more of a gamble. When you are starting from a bank roll of $0 though I guess "gamble" is a bit of a given. I like the tournaments though because I now have a sounds strategy (I think anyway) and everybody starts with the same amount of chips. There is also something in the competitive nature about being named number 1 after a few hours of play. Sure, the profit may not be the same as playing $2/$4 tables for the same amount of time, but being number 1 at the end of it certainly does give a nice little ego boost methinks. Same goes for SNG games, even if it is only a field of 10. I always find myself near the bubble being the one who has to do the final knockout or two to get into the money, regardless of what chip position I am in. It seems always the big stacks are too concerned on keeping their stacks to try to bust out the smaller ones. I guess I don't know what they are holding, but damn they seem to go against me with some crap and then fold away against the other players. Collusion maybe? Who knows. So I win a few, loose a few but end up with a profit from it so even though I got to play very few at least I am not in the red for the session.

Thanks to everyone who posted their ideas for new starting hand names, I love the "Gay Waiters" (not that there's anything wrong with that). I will keep posting more as I become aware of them (and the crappy ones I make up) from now on. I also want to send a link out to Pope Rek, and his "Project $10,000 No limit style" blog. I really like his style, and after a top three finish in the MMPBT he seems to be going very well. He too is a big fan of the SNG, and seems to be doing quite well out of it. Go over there for a read...go on, you know you want to.

I will end this post with a quote for "Tao of Poker" - actually it is a quote from right inside the cover, very early on and is all I have read in the last few hours that I have owned the book. It is actually just the author's (Larry W. Phillips) dedication of the book. It reads as follows.

"This book is dedicated to my grandson, Mandius, and the poker players of the future. As a friend once observed: They'll be a lot like we were - and they'll go through all the same things. They'll gather around the same green felt tables, suffer the same bad beats, and experience the same agonies of seeing an opponent hit a two-outer. They'll know the feeling of being down to their last dollar as the light come up in the dawn, as well as the exhilaration of dragging in a mountain of chips on days when the angels hover around them. They'll experience high drama and low drama, hear great stories, experience laughter, and free food.
They'll meet people they otherwise would not have met - great people form every walk of life - some of the best people, it will turn out, they will probably ever know in life. If, as James Earl Jones once said, 'Children are the message we send to a time and place we will never see,' then these are our ambassadors to a poker future yet unseen. Accept this note of well-wishes from those who went before you - a message from the past."

While I have not yet read a word of the actual book, I really like that pre-introduction and it all looks good from here.

When something wicked this way comes

Jack : Gambling's not about money... Gambling's about not facing reality, ignoring the odds.
Marion : I must be a fool -- I never think about the odds.

"Croupier"

Got some great news on the live game front. It seems I may be able to sneak out for an hour or two to throw some cards for my first time live this Saturday night. Thanks to the guys organizing the night, they are planning a second game which will probably start around 11 or so, long after Serena's parents who are staying with us this weekend have gone to bed. Plus, the second game tends to have half the players on tilt and the other half all cashed up and loose from the first. Sounds like a good time to join in methinks.

Big shout out to Uwannabet, who after running a recent competition has agreed to send me my first poker book. No details yet if it includes pop up pictures. When it arrives, I'm sure I'll read it for the first time in a matter of hours and then post right here ("exclusive" - stay tuned) about my thoughts on "The Tao of Poker".

I have been reading a lot of blogs lately, and from day one of my poker blog reading I have noticed a very common theme - that being drinking. This is no surprise really, as poker and drinking go together like...well, anything and drinking. We all know Iggy loves his Guinness, and another blog I have just started reading by Mene Gene proudly displays the fondness of combining the two. Now I love a drink or two - a quiet beer, a few bourbons, a little port if the night takes me there. I have sat down at the computer for my poker sessions, and just recently I have noticed something - I have never won any money when I wasn't drinking. All the tournaments I have won have been with a beer in one hand and a few already under my belt. Why do the two go so well together? Maybe it is the more relaxed play I employ when I have had a few. Perhaps the alcohol is stopping me from thinking too much and avoiding "fancy play syndrome"? Perhaps it is nothing more than pure coincidence? Obviously I am unsure, but please let me know what your thoughts are on the beneficial effects of alcohol and poker. Is it possible to be good at poker and not drink? Perhaps it is, but I'd prefer to pretend it isn't.

A lot of other poker blogs are defining what their purpose of blogging is as well. Well, I will again try to let a little light in on this subject. For me, this blog is to document my attempt at making money through poker to finance a feature length film, and also to give me an outlet to rant on current events, films, TV, sports, basically anything and everything I have an opinion on. I do this as a stream of consciousness and not a planned essay or article format. I like those formats, but by definition they require planning. There, that should clear a few things up.

On the film making front, I got an invitation yesterday to go to a seminar on "Comedy writing for television and film" run by the local writers guild, of which I am a proud member (gaining membership is only available to those that pay the fees. No one else. Very exclusive.). This sounds like a great opportunity, but I was reading the credits of the guys running the thing and all the shows they two guys have been on are absolute shockers. Only one of the several shows listed in their credits wasn't cancelled before the end of the first season - and one in particular was a sketch show that was so bad it made me cringe. There was a period of about 5 or 6 years on Aussie TV where there was no local sketch comedy shows, which was a shame. Then "Skit-house" started on channel 10 and was a big hit in their first year. The next year, channel 9 and 7 had sketch shows ready to roll. They were called "Big Byte" and "Comedy Inc.". To say they were bad would be a gross understatement. They did "topical" humor on events that occurred several years before. Obviously these were the impressions the performers could do and had been doing for years, and they were not really interested in learning new ones. Imagine "Saturday Night Live" coming out now with a new set of sketches based on the OJ trial. Now imagine that to become the character, they do nothing more than wear an OJ jersey. THEY WERE REALLY SHIT, PEOPLE! And these guys advertise that they wrote for those shows? I don't know if the workshop is for them to get advice or to give it. It's funny how the industry works here in Australia - we applaud somebody for just merely doing these shows, it doesn't really matter if they are any good at all. I mean, I'm all for encouraging the kiddies to give something a go, but when you find out you are shit at it you either try to improve or try something else. And when you fail six, seven, eight times by doing the same shit over and over, maybe it is time to try something else or just accept the fact that this line o work is not for you. Apparently they found a third option, and that is to teach everyone else how to follow in their footsteps. It's a bit like getting marriage advice from Liz Taylor or Jennifer Lopez. "How to win friends and influence people" by Steven Bartman (bet you thought that guy would never get another reference, did you?). Lets even put this into a poker reference - "How to run Internet Poker" by Dutch Boyd. By the way, I promise that will be the last Dutch Boyd reference on this site. Whatever happened, happened and can not be changed, and I am sure there is so much more to it than what I know or can find out with Google. But it was just for jokes here anyway. It's funny what people claim to be. Howard Stern one day decided to call himself "The King of All Media" as a bit of a joke. Before long, it had become a moniker that the world was using for him. His theory was that if you called yourself something long enough, loud enough and as many times as you can, soon people will start to believe you. With this in mind, I now proclaim myself to be "The World's Greatest poker blogger ever!", and I am running sessions on how to improve your poker bloging for $99.95 a head (pay in advance). Remember, it must be good because it is coming from "The World's Greatest Poker Blogger Ever!".

Wow, that started off an a big tangent, and I managed to bring it back to poker by accident. That's awesome! But then again, you'd expect some brilliance like that from "The World's Greatest Poker Blogger Ever". Woo hoo, I am getting good at this.

To keep the good times rolling, I was thinking about all the different jargon that is present in poker. I read a few sites that have a "complete" glossary of all the terms, but I have never found any of these lists to in fact be "complete". Even just the names for starting hands are so vast that whenever I try to explain a few to my friends around the table I feel like an idiot. Lets have a look at A-A. They can be called pocket Aces, bullets, rockets, pocket rockets, major league, The Alcoholics, and probably a million other names you can come up with. That's just two cards, and six names for them without even trying. When it comes to naming the starting hands, the bullets are pretty boring. I mean, they have good quantity, but not the quality which to me is more important. I like pocket Queens - the ladys, the Hiltons, the tarts. There is of course Big Slick, The Hammer, crabs, hooks, cowboys and so on. What I'm interested in here is the more creative names for starting hands. Put the ones you know or just made up in the comments section, and the best one will win a personal email from none other than the "World's Greatest Poker Blogger Ever". What about every one's favorite, 6 9 - A good night in? 8 6 - The Maxwell? Yeah, I like that one. Guaranteed next time I am dealt eight six I will be playing the Maxwell for all they are worth. Maxwell? Maxwell Smart of course, Agent 86 for Control. Please, no more questions, I am not going to explain that one further. Post your best in the comments section and try to give me and everyone here a laugh.

Wow, there is so much pressure on you when you are the "World's Greatest Poker Blogger Ever". I will teach you all about it at my next seminar, $124.95 credit cards welcome.

With that, I will sign off for now. Not a bad post considering I still haven't played one hand for over a week. I have ordered the wireless modem today and it should be with us by tomorrow so more poker will be a viable option from then on.

Thanks for reading, cheers!

Back in town.

William H. Bonney: Hey, Peppin. I see you got Charley Crawford down there with you.
Peppin: Yeah.
[Bonney goes to the window and shoots Charley Crawford]
William H. Bonney: Hey, Peppin. Charley Crawford's not with you anymore.

"Young Guns"

Well I am finally back from the business trip to the Gold Coast. It wasn't too bad in the end, as the MC was supposed to be Jean Kitson, an Australian female comedian. She wasn't funny 20 years ago when she was on TV, and I'm sure she won't be funny now. For some reason, she cancelled and Tim Ferguson took over the duties. Tim Ferguson was once part of a comedy trio called the "Doug Anthony All Stars", and they were fantastic. I've met two of the three of them now, and he was really funny. Which is great, because the rest of the conference was very dry material. As far as "networking" goes, here's a tip. If you are not the owner or the CEO of your company, people generally don't want to talk to you. I had this one guy from a company that is trying to get some contra deal going with ours, and he peppered me with questions non-stop along the lines of "Who owns your company? Where is the general manager, what is his name? What does he look like? Where is his name in the program?". I told him the owners name was Phil Helmuth, try and find him. Can you tell where my mind was?

And so Iggy wins the MMPBT, after the restart. Let me be the first one to congrat...SHENANIGANS! I CALL SHENANIGANS! Get officer Barbrady over here immediately! This is shenanigans I say, and justice must be served! I haven't seen a full write up of positions and bounty winners as yet, so I have no idea who won my booby prize. If the winner or anybody else who knows contact details for the last place getter could email them to me, I will get onto it right away.

Obviously I haven't been playing poker for a while now, being out of town and all. I did check to make sure the casino on the Gold Coast didn't have poker. I now firmly believe that only one casino in Australia has poker other than Caribbean Stud - which as we all know is crap. I keep hearing people say about this poker boom that is going on, and some even claiming poker has jumped the shark already, but where the hell is this poker boom in Australia? Where is it I ask you? I wish I had some capital and knew the laws concerning opening a poker room, because you could make a killing out here. If only hey?

Got another offer to play a live game this Saturday night, but Serena's parents are coming to Sydney for the weekend. Should be great fun trying to get out of going out for tea on Saturday night to play poker. I'd say my chances are slim to none. Damn, this is the second time I have to say no, I don't know if I will get asked a third time.

I guess the good news about not being able to play much poker for two weeks now is that I haven't lost any of my winnings. That is a very pessimistic way of expressing an optimistic view, if that makes any sense at all.

So the Olympics have come and gone for another four years. Australia won 17 Gold medals, our best result ever. Not bad for a country that dedicates $170 million dollars of tax payers money into sport. I mean, I love my sport, but really what return on investment do we get for our $170 million? Sure, 400 odd athletes get a trip to Athens, and maybe 20 or so of them will get endorsement deals. It's weird though isn't it? Maybe we should create an incentive scheme and only reward the successful athletes. Get a gold medal? Congratulations, you trip is free. Silver medal, you have to pay 33% of the costs for you trip, and bronze you have to pay 66%. If you win nothing, then pay up! We need a return on investment and if you can not deliver, then you should have to pay for the privlidge for representing our great country. Oh, but you "gave it your best try" did you? Well this is the Olympics baby, not the school running carnival.

Ah, I miss poker. Damn do I need to get back into the free roll action. Crazy pre-flop all-ins, bluffing every second hand, telling everyone else why the should have folded instead of wining the hand - I think I miss the atmosphere the most.

Got to see "Hellboy" finally, and it was worth the ticket price. A good comic book movie, is not a bit predictable. The critics were right when they say the movie does have heart. I'd recommend it, but it wasn't anything mind-blowingly brilliant. Hope to see "Bourne Supremacy" this week.

That will have to do for now, congrats to everyone who was in the money for the MMPBT, and to Iggy for taking out the prize. I am enjoying reading all the write ups for the tournament, and it is interesting reading all the different perspectives from the same tournament. It sounded like fun, and I hope one day I can join in, country permitting.

Poker? I hardly knew her!

I'm pretty annoyed at the moment. Partialy because I haven't played nearly enough poker in the last week, partially because when I do I keep getting beaten by small pocket pairs, and partially because I just typed up a huge post and it all got deleted before it got published and now I don't really want to re-type it all. Suffice to say this will again be a short post. I won't be able to post again until late next week due to a business trip I have to be going to in Brisbane from Sunday. Should be very dull and long. What fun. At least I don't have to pay for it I guess.

Quick plug for Tao of Poker, the poker stylings of Dr. Pauly. This blog is a must on the poker landscape, and reads very easy. I like his sense of humor, and can highly recommend you to have a quick read over there and see what you can find. Try his Hilton sister's challenge - if you dare! No, it's not really that scary but worth a shot.

Thanks to everyone who helped contribute to the "Princess Bride" quote-a-thon below. My faith in humanity is now restored by knowing this movie is stil a favourite of so many. When I have kids, they will be watching this movie every weekend.

Good luck to all for the MMPBT, my booby prize still stands for the last placed player, whom ever that may be. And again well done to Pacific Poker for coming to the table so to speak. They have done a great job in making up for their mistakes.

There have been some great posts recently from the blogs I have listed on the side you should have a look around, I try to on a daily basis.

Cheers

Four white horses

Something that's good can still have a little bit of bad in it, and something that's bad still has a little bit of good.

Michael/The Man, "Two Hands"

Very small post here today, as my working life is taking over slowly. Gone are the care-free University days of old, no more slacking off at the video store, I have been in the office world for 18 months now and it is starting to take a strangle hold around the nape of my reason for being. Did that come over a little over dramatic? The short of it is - I have got shit loads to do at work and I am too tired at night to play poker at the moment. In fact, I have not played online since the last win - and man have I got "the itch". If you are reading this, you must know what I mean. You start thinking "How long has it been since I played?", new theories on play start circulating and before you know it, you are fanticising about all the poker groupies that will follow you and your gold braclets around Veags. All because I haven't played a hand since Friday night. Well all have our vices, don't we?

The live game last Saturday night went pretty well. I am no expert in live game etique (I say fuck spelling), but I tried to educate the masses anyway. I know what a string bet is and I tell everyone not to splash the pot - but really only because I hope somebody will do a Teddy KGB impression (sadly I was denied). We were playing 5 handed with one person sitting out to become the dealer because that is what they prefered. I am dealt 88 in late position, so I raise and get one caller - the "Distraction". The flop comes (8 T x) and I raise, she calls. The dealer asks to peek at my hand (this happens a lot in our home games because every one is learning and there is no real money on the line). Since the dealer is a former work friend of Serena, and the only other female at the table, she is really wanting Serena to win. I decline to show her my hand, even though she already has seen Serena's. The turn is another T and I have a full house. I make a large bet and Serena goes all-in with about 2/3 of my stack. I look at her, stare into her sole, and she has been known to bet two pair like it is the nuts. I tell her "You know it is going to be a long night?" and she confirms she knows, and the dealer is giggling like never before. I tell her she must have pocket tens but call anyway. Of course, she does and I am drawing dead on the river. I ask her if she cheated and she says she didn't - suprisingly enough I could tell she was tellign the truth. But the dealer, however, was still giggling like a 8 year old after being told to do a class project on "Uranus". Later I find out the pocket tens was no fix, but the flop and turn were. No matter, about an hour later we decide to call it quits and start cooking the BBQ for a late 10:30pm tea. After that, we starting playing Halo with one team upstairs and the other down stairs. These games are awesome and are very competitive. It was 3 on 3 but one person on our team had never played before, so they just stood in a corner. It was a great night but still wasn't poker and the "itch" remains.

Today I recieved all the casino decks I ordered online from two different guys, and I am happy to say that they all ended up different colours which is great. I'm sure they will get a quick work out tonight. So now I have a deck from New York New York, Mirage, MGM Grand, Sahara and 2 from the Bellagio. I'm happy with that, and one day the KEM cards will come my way!

Big props out to Iggy and his tournament, which take-2 will be happening this Sunday. Look slike Pacific Poker have done the right thing by them, so well done. It is good to see the customer service online is still an important part of the poker rooms. These things happen, "unforseen" circumstances. All you can do is try to limit their frequency and make sure you do the right thing by the customers when shit happens. Good luck to everybody, and my booby prize for first out still stands at my old plastic poker chips and a beaten up deck - hell, I'm paying $15 postage or whatever it is so I can feel a part of it. Good luck to all.

Hopefully I can come with a better update later on in the week, but as I said spare time is very little at the moment. I do want to plug the blog of PokerProf. He has a much great insight into the game than I, and is a must-read for anybody interested in poker. But really, check out the cartoons and top nine lists. You know, there is some really bad poker realted comedy out there. I'm glad I found some that was decent enough to give me a chuckle. Thanks Professor!

And finally, in repsonse to JW, my favourite quote out of The Princess Bride would have to be from Andre the Giant as Fezzik. I can't remember it word for word, so I will just do my best.

There they were, four white horses. And I thought, there are four of us, if we ever find the lady. Hello lady!

A great present.

Kathy: You guys are brothers?
Mitch: Well, it's a long story...
Sam: My dad boned his mom.
Mitch: Okay, so it's a short story.

"Dirty Work"

What a fantastic birthday I had - and it involved poker! How awesome is that? Well I have a lot to talk about so lets get straight into it.

Friday nights are cool. Because both Serena and I (I've decided to stop calling her "girlfriend" exclusively on this blog as I ma sick of typing it) are both knackered after a week of work, and we usually relax in front of the TV with a few drinks come Friday night. I decided to get a little poker in while I could, even though the distractions were there. Luckily, the "distraction" was falling asleep on the couch.

Playing the single table tourny for 1 BBP entry at Poker Pages, I was going well and got down to heads up against one other player, with me having about 1/4 of the chips. It went back and forth, I was as high as $12K (out of $15K on the table) and as low as $1K. It was really quite fun and though I can't remember who the opponent was, they were very nice and seemed to be enjoying it too. Funny, because of so many idiots in online poker (more about that later) I will remember this game because the other player was really nice and made it more fun. Eventually it comes down to a $7K all in from me, and I get beaten by pocket 10's. Can't even remember what I had, probably A8 or something. Damn those pocket pairs, this is no longer a joke. I am seriously annoyed at that aspect of the game - but at least I won 3 cents and have finally added something to my bankroll instead of taking it away.

This table wasted enough time to be finished by the time the big tournament was about to start. I was armed with my new found strategy (see "Limpin' aint easy") and set out to concur. I was on the loosing end early and was down to $5K - but man did I fight. I managed to claw my way back to $12K - and there was a lot of pot stealing early. A small pre-flop raise of $500 with AT in late position was enough to scare off the 5 callers. I don't mind that - I mean, it isn't a killer hand and there is a chance I could pocket more, but I'd rather win a small pot than nearly win a large one. My raise's were getting way too much respect, but I was happy with that for now. After a few table re-shuffles, I end up sitting across from one of the Internet's many idiots. He wasn't swearing or anything, just being stupid. As soon as the first card was dealt, he started with genius like "I'm going to beat you all down" and the like. I don't like posting in the chat box, not because it distracts me but because I am too worried that it will distract me, and that is what distracts me. Does any of that make sense? But I posted back anyway "Maybe we should just leave quietly now before he gets really scary", and I had a bit of a laugh with another player who was also getting sick of this guy. Immediately, the idiot says back "Pipe down son.". That was his only response to anything anybody else ever said. "Pipe down son". So anyway, he is constantly telling us how good he is, and he even puts his $11K all-in a few times. He brags in the chat that he had nothing and bluffed us all because he is so great and we should pipe down. This happens about 3 times, then in early position he does it again. Even though his stack is just bigger than mine, I call him. He had something like 89 suited, and I had the cowboys. A King on the flop and it is all over. As I look at his stack of $120, I immediately type back "PIPE DOWN SON, PIPE DOWN!" He never replies. The next hand he is all in with the blinds and I take him out. The rest of the table now worships me, and I have a grin on my face from ear to ear. I even saved the chat log and will now read it from time to time when I feel I need a pick up.

The tournament marches on and I win some pots, loose some and the night goes long. The $100 free roll on Aloha starts and I now have to divide my attention between the two. It's ok though, as I blind steal and double up early on at Aloha. A must for this tournament.

Back to Poker Pages, the numbers are slowly getting smaller. We were down to the top 80 out of the 600 starters, and I remember that the one time I have been here before everybody starts folding everything. We all know this is common for all tournaments - everybody tightens right up when it gets close to the paying positions. I can't hardly remember a hand, but the number seemed to be going down a hell of a lot quicker than normal. But before I knew it, Serena woke up and came over the the computer. Oh no, this can't be good. We are getting close to the money and now the distraction awakes. This can't be good.

But it was! I had not noticed, but the clock had ticked to 00:03, and it was now the 21st of August. It was Heafy's 24th birthday, and I was starting it by playing poker! That lifted my spirits again and before I knew it I had limped into the top 27, the paying places. Woo hoo! I posted in the chat box that it was my birthday and everyone should go easy on me! When I had a blind steal, everyone considered that my first present. That was good enough for me. The average stack was $70K, and I was down to $25K, blinds up over $4K. I managed a few steals and even took a chunk off the chip leader, and I got back to over $180K by winning a coin-flip. When I got AK suited, I made a $50K raise and was re-raised by chip leader. I thought he must have a strong hand but was still trying to scare me off. I go all-in, he calls and shows a pocket pair of 5's. I think his advantage at this stage is something like 56% - but I seem to loose to pocket pair 100% of the time. Of course I loose again when he gets a full house and I have rags. I bow out in 13th and collect 16.5 cents worth of points. But I was very happy with the way I played, and my new strategy is sure to stay with me now. Also this meant I could concentrate on Aloha.

Things at Aloha were going well, but I was really aware of the evil pocket pairs waiting to snuff me out. I am playing very solidly, and my nearly-aggressive play seems to be working. The blinds get very high very quickly here, and I am able to win 1-2 pots per orbit. The numbers get lower and lower, and I start busting a few people out but mostly just sit back and watch the big stack bust all the little ones. Again, it comes down to the final two tables, and I am about 2/3 of the average stack. My best finish ever is 8th, in which I won $5 by limping into the final table. Tonight I hope I can better than and when I see a flop of (A 9 2) and I am holding A9 I feel confident to raise the minimum (which is 1/4 my stack). Then it happened. The connection dropped. I am angry. I am very angry. I check some other sites out and they all work fine - so it is the card room this time. I log out and try to get back in 3 times until I can do something. Reading the chat box though, everybody else (naturally) is also having trouble getting back in. Online help from Aloha says that nothing is wrong at their end, it must be our connections. Yeah right, it must be all our connections. This happened a farther 4 times for the tournament. I guess it was good that everyone was kept out not just me, but every time I came back in my stack was smaller. I have to continue with this other distraction, and the fact that it is 1 am on my birthday, and try to win some money. When the flop on one hand gives me bottom set, I hold my breath and go all-in (about double the big blind plus change), and get one caller. My set beats their two pair and we are onto the final table with me in 5th position!

The final table is great, but we have a tournament break straight away. I know I am assured at least $3, but my goal is to beat the $5 I scored for 8th. As each player is knocked out, I keep Serena posted on what my minimum win is. Every time someone goes all-in I let her now. About this time, there is nothing on TV so she is watching the Olympics, the women's 500m time trial cycling. With each new rider they get faster and faster, and the second last rider, a Chinese woman, was on world record pace at the half way mark, but finished just outside it in Olympic record time. The last to ride was Australian Anna Meares. She raced around in beat the world record by 0.1 of a second to claim gold - suffice to say it was very exciting from our end, and it was great to be watching it live.

Back to the poker, without me doing anything it is down to 8 (yes, I am guaranteed at least $5). Again, I can't remember the hands here but one player is dominating, named "rg301", he is chip leader by far and playing very aggressively. I am dealt pocket kings in middle position, and with $26K I think all-in is the way to go. I get one caller and I win with a full house. Hey, pocket kings against A7o or something like that, I think i was justified. I manage a few more small wins and go from 5th to 3rd, then 2nd behind rg301. It comes down to the last four and it looks like this:

Rg301 - $82K
Dreamscape (me) - $72K
Leland - $7K
TheTrashman - $1.2K

The blinds are $4000 - $8000, so it is only a matter of time (hopefully?) before the other two drop out and we go heads up. I manage a few steals and get the lead on $77K. There is one hand here I do remember very clearly. In the big blind now, I am dealt Th7c and limp in with only Rg301 calling from the small blind. The flop is (Ts 7d Qd), I have small two pair, and make a minimum raise which he calls. I am noticing that rg301 is calling everything it seems. The turn is a beautiful (7h) and I have made my full house. Not wanting to scare him off, I make the minimum raise again and he calls. I think he is on a flush draw and I want to give him every chance to make it. The river hits the digital felt and it shows (2d), I could not have asked for more. Again, I make the minimum raise (which, mind you is still $8K or so) and rg301 re-raises over the top of me about $35K. I could not have asked for a better result. I knew my hand was not the nuts, but it was damn close. There is no way this uber aggressive player would not go all in if he had made his hand before the river. I know he has made his flush, and I go back at him with all-in. He pauses, then calls and shows (Ad 6d), an ace high straight and I leap off my seat in triumph. I am very happy with the way I played that and knocked him out with my boat. The table now has me at $158K, and the other two are below $4K. One of them wins one showdown, but then looses the rest and in a matter of minutes I have knocked out all three of the last players and sit triumphantly alone at the table.

I stand with my arms raised high, waiting to be applauded. Some people have imaginary friends, I have an imaginary audience. Serena is surprised more than pleased I think, and I already begin to enjoy my birthday! I pocketed 16.5 cents from Poker Pages to bring that total to 25 cents, and then this tournament win takes me to $28 US (about $38.69 Australian), clearly my best result yet. I avoided loosing out to pocket pairs, which was a bonus too. Because of this, and my first ever tournament win, I have up-graded myself from Algae to Plankton. I'm still small time, but baby I am on my way! My birthday rocked! I think I really have learned a lot though (thanks a lot to my loyal readers too), and I was not panicking when it came to the final table. I was very solid and still enjoyed the natural high from the win (and who doesn't)! There is plenty more to speak about the happening of my birthday and the live game we tried out, but I will save all of that for another time and for now bask in the glory of my win.

Just enough time here to point you through to another great blog in Sloe Times. His style of blogging seems similar to mine - that being a stream of consciousness instead of trying to write an essay each time. That's what I prefer, as it sounds more like a conversation than a written account of thoughts and occurrences. It is worth your time to go over it for a read and see what you think.

Couldn't see "Hell Boy" on the weekend, so we saw "Euro Trip" instead. There are a few laughs in there, but mostly it is so-so. Sure, nudity abounds but you can only get so much out of that. Matt Damon has a cool and very un-expected cameo. I love cameos, and one day I will put my top ten in here for my own enjoyment. For now, good luck to everyone in the MMPBT (currently running or recently finished I think) and next post I will update you all more on the happenings of my 24th!

Yep, I'm a player now.

Limpin' aint easy!

Hansel: I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot.

"Zoolander"

It has taken me a while, but I think I have finally figured out how to play the free roll BBP at Poker Pages. You see, after a little messing around with the calculator, I figured that in the early rounds, the BB is less than 1% of the starting stack. That's just too easy. So I put my new found theory into motion last night.

In these tournaments, either someone goes all in on the first hand or they make bullshit raises of $100. I decided to extend my starting hands from, lets say 25% of possible hands to about 95% of possible hands. If I had a decent hand and position, it meant a raise of $500 pre-flop. If my hand wasn't premium, I would limp in if there were no pre-flop raises. In the first few rounds I saw 80% of the flops. But there was method to the madness I think. If the flop didn't help me, I was out of there having lost at most $100 out of $10K, which I could handle. But when I won, I was more than making up for it.

The rest of the table was playing pretty tight, and I was trying my best to get a loose reputation. When I again limped in from early position with 63o (WTF?), there were a few callers and the flop came (6 3 9). I checked it (I think I should have raised the pot, but oh well) and there was one bet in late position of $600 or so. NOW they start betting properly. I promptly re-raised all over him with $3K - hoping it looked like I was buying the pot. I got two callers, and the turn was a beautiful 6 giving me one of the smallest little boats you could imagine. I bet another $2K, which is obviously not the right amount to bet in this situation but I feel was within my strategy. I was hoping and praying one of the others had an over pair or even AK-QJ something similar and was drawing dead. I get one caller and we go to the river with an even better Ace. I loved that river card, and here I am with the nuts thinking about my next bet. I have just under $3.5K and my opponent has just over $2K. I know I have the nuts so winning is not the question, only how much can I win. I have shown strength post-flop so he must know I have at least a pair or a set, but here's hoping he has...and then I realized, I don't have the nuts. A pocket pair of nines or the bullets can put me out. Even 93 or 96 was good enough. Surely even these guys would make a raise pre-flop with a pocket pair of Aces? I decided that I have to be sure of my read and bet $2K, forcing him to go all in if he wants to see. I was hoping he had one Ace, and I was gone if he had two. He folded, and I took down a pretty hefty pot and doubled up without knocking anyone out. I was pleased with the result, but the realization that I did not have the best hand when I thought I did could have been tragic. Never the less, onward I marched. I think that is one thing you can take away from my blog - I know I am not the world's greatest player and I am more than happy to let everyone know how shitty I played my last hand. Algae - I can't see that moving on too much.

It was a great little experiment. I was getting shit cards (like 63o) and still limping, and then getting straights, sets, full house and a regular basis. Sure, if the blinds were a little bigger I would have been out on my ass in one orbit, but I was making 5 or so very small losses of $100-$200 for every win of over $5K. I think that is pretty good, especially when none of them were bluff or overly creative. I can get into a bad habit of trying to slow play mediocre hands, something I am working on, but I think after the 63o debacle I was playing solid poker for the table while still seeing 80% of flops. Mind you, all it would have taken was one aggressive player at the table and my little experiment would have had quite different results. I think I will keep these tactics in my back pocket for when the situations call for it. Ah yes, only in free rolls can you get away with playing intentionally that bad.

My nemesis did catch up with me though - the dreaded pocket pair. I was once again kicked in the groin by a shitty pocket pair. I was holding AJh and another loose player went all-in with a stack about half the size of mine. This was clearly a bullshit call and I decide to play policeman and was the only caller. I show my Ajax, and the villain shows a pair of pocket 5's. The first card on the flop is a 5 and I can say goodbye to that chunk. What bullshit. Sure, going half my stack with AJ is probably not the wisest decision, but I am just getting sick of seeing these stupid small pocket pairs bust me up. What am I doing wrong?
Later on my connection dropped out yet again. That too is becoming tiresome. I'll have to do something about it someday. I have prices and such on wireless broadband (but that does seem a little silly when I only have a desk top and not a laptop), and it is just a matter of convincing the rest of the house hold that it is a worthy investment. Time will tell.

Tomorrow is the first night of using the new poker gear with a full table of punters. I'm looking forward to that as well as the multiple write-ups coming from the MMPBT. If just one other person uses that abbreviation, my job is complete. Remember kiddies, last place will receive my beautiful booby prize of 300 plastic poker chips and a deck of cards from the cupboard somewhere. I think I found the perfect pack too - a promotional pack of Shrek 2 cards from Red Rooster. These are great because instead of hearts, diamonds, clubs and spades they have a black slug and bug, and a similar red slug and bug - only the slugs and bugs don't look very different at all. These cards are very useless, and come in a lovely tin presentation box. The picture cards have a little quote from your favorite Shrek 2 characters, sure to provide seconds and seconds of laughs. Good luck, and remember crappy play can be rewarded!

Last night Australian Olympic swimmer Jodie Henry won the women's 100m freestyle, and she broke the world record in the lead up races in Athens. This is both good news and bad news. Good news because hey, that's another world record and gold medal, that rocks! Bad news because...Guess who was the last Australian woman to win that event? Yep, Dawn Fraser. Dawn was on the radio today saying what a great swim it was, which is both incredibly obvious and even a bit of an understatement. I mean, Jodie Henry broke a world record then won a gold medal - what fucking better swim has there ever been? Ok, so Kieren Perkins once broke two world records in the one swim, but that is beside the point. I will have to check the TV guides to see where Dawn will be appearing tonight. She may have even been on more radio, TV and papers this morning but I could only see so many. I wonder what she will come out and make a statement on next? Keep tuning in here at DFW central!

It really is a bit of a joke how as soon as I started to make note of her public opinions, she then goes on an absolute bender with them. Hey, Bender, what a funky robot? Full marks for anybody who now knows what I am talking about.

Seen some excellent reviews for "Hellboy". When I saw the first preview for it some months ago, I thought it looked like an absolute stinker. Then the next preview, about a few weeks ago, I thought it looked awesome and it was back on my "must see" list. All the critics seem to say the same thing, it is better than they expected it to be and really has a heart to it. We'll see, perhaps this weekend. Also on the list is "The Lady Killers", the re-make with Tom Hanks by the Coen brothers. Looks like it should be worth seeing, but it doesn't bring up a pet-peeve of mine. When it comes to re-makes and adaptations, I can not stand those people that immediately pipe up with "Well I saw the original 1912 silent pantomime version written entirely in crayon, and artistically it is so much superior to this new age schlop!". Seriously, piss off. Just watch the movie and judge it for what it is worth. When I was working in the video store we actually had one customer come in and said they walked out 1 hour into the first "Lord of the Rings" because they thought it was not doing the book justice. Hello lady, look what you missed out on. Do you think if instead they showed 23 hours of just the text of the original books across the screen she would have liked it? No, because it is a FUCKING MOVIE! It is a different medium, just watch it and applaud like the several trillion other people who saw it. Besides the fact that I very much doubt this woman could read let alone read something of the nature of "Lord of the Rings", she had heaps of late fees on her membership at our store. Yep, she was not getting any of them erased no matter what. Ah yes, that was one of the simple pleasures of working at the video store - deleting late fees for the nice people. It was good, because they genuinely appreciated you knocking $5 off their late fees, and also the owner was a dickhead so any money out of his pocket was a good move. Hey, we may not have had much power working behind the counter at Video Ezy, but man did we know how to wield it!
That will do for this update. The blog-roll to the side is getting pretty damn impressive even if I do say so myself. I hate that name - "blog-roll". I'm going to have to make up a new one and use it here first - "WORLD EXCLUSIVE" - and see how many days it takes for it to become the standard for all of the internet, and how many seconds it takes for Dawn Fraser to come out and make a statement about it's effect on the Australian Olympic History.

One blog that nearly everybody knows about (and for good reason) that I have yet to plug (except for now) is Cards Speak. I find his comments on betting strategy pretty damn useful, and one look at the archives shows just how much effort goes into this blog. If you are reading Poker on Film and not reading Cards Speak, I would be very surprised. He is on my daily reading list, and should be on yours too.

There are another 3 or 4 blogs out there I have been reading, but I will try to only pimp one at a time and add slowly to the list on the side. A new name for the blog-roll...that will have to wait until next time. Until then, best of luck in the MMPBT!