Friday, October 30, 2009

From The Ashes

Young Doc: No! It can't be; I just sent you back to the future!
Marty McFly: No, I know; you *did* send me back to the future. But I'm back - I'm back *from* the future.
Back to the Future: Part 2
It is amazing how sometimes, the smallest thing can trigger a thought or emotion.

You see, today I was having a small spell of depression for no real good reason. I was sitting in the common area of our office building with 2,000 other employees waiting for a presentation to begin. I thought I would occupy myself by checking my emails on my iPhone. Amongst various "Ask the seller" questions from eBay for products my mother put on my account save her learning how eBay works, was what looked like a random spam email - though it caught my eye. The from name was familiar - it said "Ignatius". The subject line also had a blast from my past on it - "Poker On Film".

Iggy had left a comment on my last post, commending me for keeping this "Old School" blog alive. Truth is Iggy - you misread the date. That date said October 2008, not 2009. I'm sorry for the confusion.

But I felt proud that Iggy read my blog, and called it "Old School". That made me feel like the years I put into it were worth while. I certainly believed that at the time too - but this little comment brought those back to me. So while the modest praise from the Blogfather was miss placed, I vow to return to the poker blogging world from here on - nearly 1 year to the day since my last post.

So - what has happened in the Poker On Film world in the last 12 months?

  • The little distraction is running around the place, and is the highlight of everyday. She's so happy and full of energy. She is learning to speak.
  • The other Distraction - she's 8 weeks away from adding to our family. Child number 2 is due just before Christmas, and we're already running a book on the birthdate (I'm on the 26th, 3 days overdue)
  • My new job is exactly what I needed. And wanted. And now, I'm even been given enough rope to go out and explore ways to expand on my job. Freedom to do as I please, and have the confidence placed in my work and abilities to carry out my new plans. Don't get me wrong, it's not all perfect - but from where I was before, this is paradise.
And poker:
  • Still playing - less frequently than before, but still playing.
So why did I stop? I got busy. I am embarrassed to say I became a stereotype of a poker blogger. I had a loosing session, the biggest of my career, and the first time I dropped over $1,000 in a session. Then, no more posts.

Well, it wasn't exactly like that. I was determined not to go that way. I did type up a post, but then had multiple errors and computer failures, making the task of getting my finished post up. A week delayed turned into a month, turned into 2 months. I got busier. I was enjoying my work, and finding less time to read other poker blogs. Less need to - before, all the other blogs was a chance for me to escape from the drudgery of my job, and indulge in a passion. Poker was my passion. Still is. However, now I didn't need that escape any more. I had a job I enjoyed, visible opportunities to expand, and unmeasurable motivation to make this into a career.

Just as many wrongs came my way in previous employment, I was certainly a contributing factor to them. However, even though it takes two to tango so to speak, I was punished the most. Probably rightly so in the end. After feeling that, I knew it was time to grow up and accept that I had to make things happen. Might be a few years, perhaps even a decade or two, too late, but progress is on the way.

I certainly didn't give up poker though. The games are a little less frequent, online and live. I did re-visit a few poker blogs during this years WSOP...and a few twitter accounts as well that have become all the rage since I left. I was a happy observer of all the poker blogs I used to read daily.

I didn't restart mine though. I didn't feel the need. I didn't feel justified either, as I was playing so little poker myself. But the way Iggy's little comment made me feel...well, this just might be back on the agenda now.

I'm also blogging and twittering on a corporate level now too, so reviving this blog does serve those purposes as well, by reacquainting me the practice and honing a few skills. Well, that's the idea anyway.

And I have reason for it as well. Turns out, one of my bosses at work is a bit of a poker fan. Not a week goes by now where I don't have an offer to visit the local casino for a game. I don't go every week, but the offer is there.

I had one session that reminded me of the old Sydney home games. Fond memories. I shared them with the guys I used to play with. While I missed those times, as I said to my poker buddies I feel more blessed to have been able to have those times in the first place.

The good news, poker wise, is that my proud record of having my biggest winning session being larger than my biggest loosing session, and by some margin. I'm still playing similar limits, a little higher but not by much. Still enjoying it.

A few months ago, after some car troubles I was in need of some repairs to the radio so I would have something to listen to on my way to and from work. In the mean time, I decided to search for some podcasts on poker (featuring an Idol of mine, Dr Pauly no less), and download them to the iPhone (which, I should add, is being paid for by the new job. What a score!) to listen to on the journey. Along the way, I came across Poker Road Radio - and I've been hooked for the past 3 months at least. My car radio still remains unfixed because of that. Two Jacks - love the show. I even got a kick out of PRR when Joe Stapleton read out a comment I left on his account on What a thrill that was for me - I am a vein beast at times. I mean that honestly, I was well chuffed.

So I've made my return to the blogsphere with a bit of a ramble. I will try to keep this revival going on more on topic in future.

I do wish to apologize again to Iggy for leading him astray with my slackness. I would have never started blogging in the first place if I hadn't found his blog in the first place.

But more so - thank you. Leaving that little comment really gave me a pick up. Thank you.