First Time Father

Jason Bourne: Do you even know why you're supposed to kill me? Look at us. Look at what they make you give.

”The Bourne Ultimatum”

Poker wise, I have very little to report. I have been far too busy with the Distraction and Mini-distraction to play a hand. A few dayts after the birth, I did make it to the regular home game, but I only stayed an hour just to have a beer and see everyone. I was happy to sit off to the side and just watch them play and then leave. One player even asked if I was feeling the itch to play? Not at all I said. I was very content and didn’t feel the need. I was happy to see everyone, and really just wanted some sleep before heading back to the hospital in the morning.

Mini-Distraction is now 2 weeks old, and mum and dad are learning more everyday. We’ve had a few really bad nights where we just couldn’t figure out why she was crying, but those are getting rarer each day. We almost have a schedule down, but today was my first day back at work and would be difficult for mum as her first day home alone. Thankfully, it is only for 2 days this week and next week my brother will be in town to lend a hand.

I’ve changed my fair share of nappies (diapers for my North American friends) and have been baptised by various excrements that all go with being around a baby. I’ve been woken up at 2am, 3am, 5am and 6am all on the same day, and have had more midday naps in the past 2 weeks than when I was living at college.

Was it the emotionally gripping life changing moment that everyone says it was going to be? Well, yes and no to be perfectly honest. I will explain what I mean by that.

Firstly, when the Distraction was going through the pains of contractions, it was hell. I’m not trying to take away from the pain she was in, but just being there to watch her going through it (every 2 minutes, not spaced apart anymore than that) and not being able to do a thing was hell. After a few hours of high levels of pain, a midwife came in and suggested she try the happy gas while lying on the bed. I tell you, that was the greatest decision ever made as the excruciating pain went to mild discomfort almost instantly. I had never felt so relieved in my life.

Relatively speaking, the labour was very quick. They don’t call in the doctor until very late in the process, and as our delivery was so quick it was all over before the doctor arrived. That was not a problem, as the midwife and I delivered the kid just fine. They even said to us in the months leading up that the doctor is only there if something goes wrong, and nothing did so there was nothing to worry about.

When our daughter was placed on the Distractions chest, waiting for her first breath, I didn’t feel the need to cry or an overwhelming joy. It was more pure amazement that this little human was here – and a real sense of relief for the Distraction that the pain had ended. As each moment passed, I just wanted to watch the kid to see what she would do, and was amazed at everything she did for the very first time. When she cried, opened her eyes, looked at me, yawned – it didn’t matter what she did, it was amazing to me and I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Surprising myself, no tears were shed but they were never far from the surface.

A few moments after the birth the midwife had to tell me to get the camera and then we started taking our first pictures as a family. When the distraction went for a shower, the midwife and doctor gave the kid a clean bill of health, and I held her for the first time. I just stood still staring down at her while she stared right back at me. I didn’t move an inch for what seemed like seconds but was more in the vicinity of 10 minutes.

We’ve been so lucky to have such a perfect pregnancy and birth, and the kid is very placid 99% of the time. We couldn’t have asked for me, and everyone around us is just as excited. I did have to miss a close friends wedding because of the birth, but they more than understand and I’ll be catching up with them this week as they return from their honeymoon.

So Poker? Yeah, in time I’ll get back to it in far shorter bursts than before. I just don’t really feel the need at the moment but I know that will return.