Sunday, April 30, 2006

Top 5 Movies I Have Absolutely No Right To Like

Sonny: Don't worry about me making money. I'm in love with a woman who makes plenty of it. She could be my sugar mamma.
Homeless Guy: I gotta get me one of those.
"Big Daddy"

5 - Love Actually
I have made mention of this move before as a way for my married readers to make an informed "chick flick" choice that they have a chance of enjoying with their Distraction. The film follows several little love stories that cross paths but don't really. There are some genuine comedic moments for you and some tear jerkers for her. I just enjoyed it because of the fast pace - skipping from one story to the next it really doesn't have any slow moments which is something new for a romantic comedy. Great cast too.

PRO: From Richard Curtis, the writer of "Black Adder"

CON: From Richard Curtis, the writer of "Bridget Jones' Diary".

4 - Hudson Hawk
I was a lot younger when this movie was released, but I'm pretty sure it bombed and won a Razzie or two. It makes pretty much no sense, and has Bruce Willis hitting on - and scoring - a nun. That right there should have sent alarm bells ringing. But for some reason, I just enjoyed it. I think it was a bit of the bumbling crook story line going that interested me at that age, but it has stayed with me for all those years. The fact that nobody else liked it sort of made it better for me too. Keeping time by singing old tunes was a novel approach and may have began a secret soft spot I have for musicals despite zero musical ability of my own.

PRO: Would you like to swing on a star...

CON: Sandra Bernhard - who in the world considers her funny or attractive?

3 - Crocodile Dundee III
When the original came out, it put a stereotype in place for Australia. It paved the way for many Australian's into the national spot light, and gave Paul Hogan a film career out of a some-what successful TV sketch show. When the second one was made, I think have the script was photocopied from the original and everyone just phoned it in. They waited years before making the third instalment, and I'm pretty sure it was straight to video. It was PG rated and even had an annoying kid as one of the leads with Mick Dundee and his wife. Set in Los Angeles, it had all the typical jokes about a guy from the Aussie Outback in the big city, but it had a few cheesy jokes that just seemed to click with me. It was described to me by my boss at the video store as "Very watery", and it was but you'll get a laugh out of it. Believe it or not, there are one or two clich├ęs that they actually steer away from! Good cameos too.

PRO: Some times, you're just in the mood for cheesy jokes.

CON: Some times, you're not.


2 - Moulin Rouge
This movie had a heap of box office action and tabloid press for it. It was Baz Lurman's big return to film after Romeo and Juliet and Strickly Ballroom, both movies I detest (and I later discovered that the opinion of his work within the Aussie film industry is extremely poor). It was also Nicole Kidman's return to work after years...many, many years of absolute crap movies. The publicity and praise lumped on her had nothing to do with the fact that she split with Tom Cruise just before this movie. Hell, she even squeezed an Oscar nomination out of this tripe. Just to show how publicity can affect the punters mind, my Distraction said to me "I really like Nicole Kidman as an actress."
I replied "Oh really, name one movie of hers you like?"
That was a few years ago, I'm still waiting for a response. So yeah, I'm not a big fan of "Our Nic". She's not even Australian damn it, she's born over seas (but Aussie have a big history of claiming famous people like that).
So basically, while all the publicity about this movie was given to Nicole and her performance, I thought she sucked.
But enough about my little Anti-Kidman rant - this musical had some catchy tunes in it. Because it was rated PG here in Australia, we could put it on the store TV's when I was working at the video store, and finding any PG movie that was good was always a plus. Ewan McGregor was awesome, as was John Leguizamo - actually, the entire support cast was now that I think about it. I found it almost frustrating to like this movie despite the lead. And sorry for forgetting actor's names (and not being arsed to look it up at IMDB), but the Argentinean narcoleptic's rendition of The Police's "Roxanne" was brilliant.

PRO: Ewan McGregor putting emotion and talent in a performance that had every one else acting tounge in cheek around him.

CON: Try telling someone you like this film AND women - it seems to be mutually exclusive.

1 - Rocky Horror Picture Show
Why? WHY? Why do I like this damn movie? I guess because I saw it at a very impressionable age. I guess because my parents had the soundtrack on tape and I had not much else to listen to on my new tape player. And I guess because even at a young age, I could tell talent when I saw it and Tim Curry is awesome.
I still have no real idea why I liked it - maybe I have some deep desire to be able to sing and dance when sadly I suffer from Caucasian Disease and can do neither. I really hate the fact that so many freaks dedicate their life to the movie too. Man, I hate the fact that I share a taste in film to them (see also Crow, The). I hate the Time-warp too.
Unlike all the others movies, I really do have no idea what made me like the movie so much. And why the hell can I sing nearly every song word perfect even though I haven't seen this movie in nearly ten years, and I don't even own it on DVD?

PRO: I'm still trying to figure it out.

CON: The Freaks man, the Freaks.

2 comments:

Sloejack said...

1, 2, and 5 All fit into some of my favorites. Sprinkle in "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels", "Snatch", and "Layer Cake" (I apparently have a thing for british gangstar flicks) and I'm set. A tad embarrasing to admit but Rocky Horror and Moulin Rouge are great feel good movies I can sing along to. Love Actually is something I can relate to having been in and approached relationships that had many of those quirks and jems. Plus how can you watch that and not think Ms. Knightly isn't the most beautiful woman in the world? As for the British gangster flicks, well what can I say... plenty of attituded, some great one liners, and guns.

TripJax said...

Interesting list...it's got me thinking of my own top, erm, bottom five that i like.

good stuff...