Real Aussie Legends

Buttercup: We'll never survive.
Westley: Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has.

"The Princess Bride"

I love that movie, easily the best children's movie that isn't a cartoon of all time.

I finally got some poker in last night, not that it was worth it. I was going well early on Aloha, nearly tripling my stack when I slow played a set of Jacks. I was pretty proud of myself when in early position I checked, then had a single bet, 2 callers and I jumped all over it with a J63 flop. It was good enough to get 2 callers on the all-in (you have to double early on Aloha, the blinds start so high compared to your stack.). Later on, I had AT suited, and the flop came (A T 2) rainbow. My flush is gone, but I think this two pair looks really good without any action pre-flop. I even have position on this one, and after the 4 people who saw the flop checked, I raise all in, hoping to convince the bigger stacks to stay away and maybe even one of the smaller ones to try their luck. Unfortunate, right in the middle and with a stack just $20 bigger than mine, I get a caller. Pocket 2's. I am really growing tired of pocket pairs. I am sick of seeing my Kings and Aces getting busted by 75o, and then seeing a pair of 2's hold up a few minutes later. That isn't fair, and I don't know what I have done to the guys that rig online poker to piss them off so much. I mean I'm a nice guy, aren't I?

Got another chance last night to try out the new chips and table with my girlfriend and flatmate. We were playing for about 20 minutes when he decided to call this chick he is trying to get with...3 hours later, my girlfriend and I decided we had waited enough and packed up. Can't blame him though, he needs to get some action. He broke up with his fiance earlier this year, which was fantastic because she was a super bitch and leech. It was disappointing though, because I was going well in this game. I even got the roommate to fold a set to my rags, and showing him was the majority of the fun. About two hands later I make the exact same moves and he says "I know you probably have it this time, but I have to see" - which is a silly thing to say because when we play, never for cash, ever time I take down a pot my girlfriend asks "What did you have", and I always say "To tell you the truth Johnny, I can't remember". Then she gets the shits and creates more "distractions", so I have to show ever hand no matter what. So on this hand he calls my big raise and I show a flopped straight. I should have taken him for all he is worth, but then who would pay his half of the rent? I was taking some photos of the gear to put up on this hear website, but the batteries in the camera died after 2 shots. I will have some more soon, probably after the weekend.

Didn't watch much Olympics last night because Joe Schmoe Show has just started here in Oz. I love this show - especially the first episode, "Ok contestants - touch that hooker!". That combined with "Law and Order" which GF insists on watching, and the poor Olympics missed out. Oh, and since the roommate was on the phone for three hours, online poker was out of the question. I'm not complaining - who knows how many nights I have tied up the phone lines with my poker habit, I'm just stating the facts.

As promised, I am now going to provide all the faithful readers with a few real Aussie sporting legends. Sure, the rest of the world might sing the praises of Muhammad Ali, Michael Jordan or Pele - but Australia has the greatest sportsmen of all time. And here is my proof.

THE REAL GREATEST AUSTRALIAN ATHLETES OF ALL TIME

JOHN LANDY:

John Landy was one of the men in pursuit of the four minute mile, and he should have been the first to break it. He did win a gold medal at the Melbourne Olympics, and he did break the four minute mile and the world record, but that is not the main reason for his legendary status.

In the 1956 Australian championships, everybody was hoping for John to break the world record. He was going faster than anybody had ever seen in recent time, and hopes were high. About half way through the race he was moving up near the lead when Ron Clarke fell in front of him. John leaped over him but caught him with his spikes on his shoulder. Then John decided that even though he was still on world record pace and landed running on his feet, to turn around, run back 10 meters and apologize to Ron Clarke. Ron told him that all was well, now keep running you bloody idiot! Nobody else in the race stopped, they just kept on going but John had to go back and say sorry. So what does he do next? He joins back into the race in last place...and wins the bloody thing! Rumor has it that 200 yards from the finish line he also stopped and help an old lady cross the road, and he sold $5.25 worth of raffle tickets for charity. He finished the race in first and with a time of 4 minutes 4 seconds. That is awesome, and why he is an Aussie Legend.

HEATHER MCKAY:

Heather McKay was the first world squash champion for women. She was undefeated in squash for 15 years, and didn't drop a set for 10 of those years. She lost twice in her entire career. She was so good, she had to switch to racket ball for a challenge. Oh yeah, she also represented Australia in hockey. She was British champion 16 years in a row. Not a bad effort at all.

WALTER LINDRUM:

Walter Lindrum was so good at billiards, they had to change the rules of the game in an attepmt to make him beatable. It didn't work. He still kicked everybody's ass. He would occupy the table for over an hour racking up his points while the opponent did his laundry for him. He would give the number two ranked player in the world 500 points head start, and he would still more than double their score. He died in 1960 and still holds many world records to this day. But seriously, when they have to change the rules so you can be beaten, I think you have the right to be a little proud of yourself.

SHANE WARNE:
Shane Warne is the greatest bowler cricket has ever seen, and a real Aussie bloke. He has bowled batsman out with his leg spinners, and the batsman don't believe it has happened until they see the replay on the TV. He also made 99 runs in Perth one year, and got caught on the fence going for the century against New Zealand, which would have been his first and a magnificent feat considering he wasn't a batsman. Think about it like this - a major league pitcher hitting three home runs in a game. It was that close. But it is his bowling that he is most famous for, and nobody ever has dazzled batsman as much as him. There is this Sri Lanken guy who current has 1 or 2 more scalps than him, but he cheats and it has been proven. Warney rocks.

DAVID FOSTER:

David foster is a beast of a man. About 6'4", a good 160 kgs or more, he is a living breathing mountain. He also chops wood. He is the greatest axeman ever to live. He has won 182 world titles. That's just stupid. 182? He was world champion in the 600 mm Double Handed Sawing Championship with his dad for 11 years in a row, until his dad died. Then what does he do? Promotes his brother to the job and wins it another 9 years in a row. He wrote a book, "The power of two", and it is one of the funniest auto-biographies ever. What do you do when a guy is world champion for over 20 years? He went to America to compete in their outdoor games, and broke a few world records and then found out the prize money was less than half what the local tournaments were. The fact that we won by using a spoon to chop the wood instead of an axe goes mostly un-reported.

SIR DONALD BRADMAN:

I saved this man for last for a reason. He is the greatest sportsman ever. Any sport. Sir Donald Bradman was a cricketer starting in the 1920's. When he retired, his batting average was 99.94 runs per innings. The best since is about 60. To put this into perspective, imagine Jordan averaging 50 points a game...for his entire career. Imagine Barry Bonds averaging 160 home runs a season for his entire career. In Sir Don's very last game, he needed just 4 runs to have a career average over 100, and he got out for 0. Nobody will ever get close to this record. In 1932-33 England tried to kill him by bowling at his head every ball. Unlike baseball, in cricket if you get hit in the head with the ball it is your fault. You don't get any free walk, you get a kick in the back and told to get up and face it again. How good was he? They tried homicide to stop him. Oh, and they didn't have helmets in those days either. This tactic was called "Body Line" and is now illegal. He died a few years ago aged 90-odd, so he fell just short of the century again despite people trying to raise fund to keep him on life support for 8 years so he could make it over the line.

Time to add another blog to the growing list on the side. As I always say, I will only add blogs that I actually read, and not just for the sake of exchanging links - so don't bother to ask. I am getting a few emails asking to exchange links and it's just not going to happen. I don't mind if you invite me to read your blog (there is a fair chance it is better than mine anyway), and then I will probably pimp it up, but not just for the sake of a link. Having said that, I love feedback and finding new blogs that are worth a read, so keep emailing me that stuff.

I am adding Poker Perspectives to my little list on the side. This means that for the first time I have inducted a women into the little Peabody's club on the side. Shock! Horror! What will Dawn Fraser have to say about that? Maudie's blog is well written and well organized - not surprising on that last one. I can recommend it with confidence, and congrats on putting a bounty on yourself for the MMPBT. I still think I am the only one using that abbreviation, but who cares I am going to pump it still.

That will do for this getting-even-less-about-poker blog. By next post I will hopefully have better stories and more victories to go on with.