The Sickness

Kevin: When someone gives you 10,000 to 1, you take it. If John Mellencamp ever wins an Oscar, I'm gonna be very rich.

"The Office"

There is an old saying that if an offer seems too good to be true, then it must be. Especially when it comes to someone offering you something for free, you know there must be a catch – the sceptic in us all immediately pipes up and probably rightly so. I've tried something very similar to friends and other degenerates I meet at the poker table. I have told them about some of the kick ass affiliate deals I have and what they can do for someone looking to start an online bankroll for nothing but don't want to clear raked hands and so on. It was a good deal where I offered them $150 to just deposit into a room – play or not, I don't care but once you have deposited the money is theirs. Withdraw the next day without playing a hand if you like – you're still getting the $150.

The BS radar on some people spiked, and they asked what the catch was. When I explained that there were no hidden costs, no follow up needed and no on going commitment, they still seemed a little hesitant and suspicious. How can online card rooms and casinos afford to do this – why isn't it sending them broke?

Because for 10 bonus whores I send to these sites that take out $150, they'll get 1 person that will drop $10K a month to them, every month for the next year.

When Joe Hachem was on a local football TV show, the resident comedian told the joke: How do you get a gambler off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.

Even the pros get broke from time to time, so how are the mere mortals and weekend warriors supposed to keep their head above water? Obviously the answer is to play within their means – but for some people that is a problem and something that is hard to talk about with poker loving folk. Maybe that's because we all have been in that place at some stage, or maybe it's because as a poker player you are pretty much conditioned to take advantage of when someone else is in that situation – the donkey, the fish, the pigeon, the ATM – we all want that weaker player to have deep pockets and a seat at our table. What if they have a problem and can't walk away? Is any poker player in a $10/$20 or $200NL game going to tell them they've had enough and should leave? Less than 1% would tell a stranger they should call it quits.

I saw something similar at the casino once, where in typical fashion a guy who had a little too much to drink (just drunk, not falling over or making a problem or anything) was dipping into his pocket time and time again, as he just "bluff-called™" another all-in with 4 ^th pair no kicker. I was a railbird at the time, sweating a buddy of mine at the table who was doing well. When Drunk Man had lost his first buy in he was looking for a drink but the waiters and waitresses were few and far between, so I offered to grab him the round he was after, without payment of course. It was just 3 beers for him and a few of his mates at the table. All poker aside, they were top blokes and everyone was having a good time – why not right?

Then while I was waiting for the drinks at the bar, I was thinking to myself that my nice deed would yield some karma points with the poker demons, when I then considered what the other players might see as my reasoning for doing this. My buddy at the table had just won a nice pot of Drunk Man, and now I was making sure he was getting more alcohol so he stayed at the table. Doesn't it look like I am trying to make sure he is happy for my buddy to keep fleecing him? While I obviously wasn't, I could see how some cynical could see it that way.

By the look of the guy, I'm sure he could afford it and eventually one of his mates thought it was time to call it quits. He was playing well within his monetary limits, but was bleeding buy ins even though he was not visibly on tilt. Judgement definitely impaired, but not by tilt.

You hear stories about the person who fleeced a business out of $100K to put it all into the slots, or to play roulette at the casino and lost it all. We think about these people and how stupid what they were doing seems, and perhaps that's because we know that they don't have a chance at winning – and even if they did, who knows how long they will hang on to it? Poker is slightly different, because on the face of it any player can turn a profit. The odds are not stacked against anyone – well, not explicitly like in roulette or slot machines.

I know a few people in our home games that have a problem with gambling. I mean, we all have some of the sickness, but we control it and know when our limits have been met. Others do not and continue to gamble and they are always on the worst of it, looking to get lucky. When I have a good night, it's usually because of one of these guys.

Sure, we don't play at levels that could adversely affect their financial situation – as far as I know – but I'm sure there are plenty of others in home games and casinos around the city that do.

I have been around gambling ever since I can remember. I have had a bet on the Melbourne Cup horse race ever year since I have been alive – not really sure how I selected a horse when I was 3 months old, but I did something and Pop put $2 on it. Dad doesn't mind a punt either, but we've always had the mind set that you've lost any money as soon as you gamble it – anything you get back is a bonus. Similar to when you walk into the race track – any money in your pocket at the days end is a bonus. The rest was a fee for the days entertainment. And if you end up in front then it's your shout.

I feel that everyone has a responsibility to themselves – we're all adults, and you have to take ownership of your choices and decisions when you play and for how much. Is that just a way of me avoiding any guilt I may have towards taking people's money when I know I have an advantage over them? It's a justification, but sensible reasoning and it has always been there even before I knew about poker.

I have felt near enough to gambling addictions before – no things other than poker. Fortunately I am quite thrifty, so losses do not tend to be too great many times, and on the few times when there were large losses they were from winnings and not initial outlay. Chalk it up to experience, and don't do it again. I have that discipline to move on from it, but you see people that can't all the time.

I have felt addicted to poker at least once – sure, I've always loved playing but there were a few times where I just had to play, just had to get to a table and through some chips around. I ended winner that night though, and felt satisfied that the itch had been scratched.

But for every addict in control like myself, there are 2 that are not. Maybe more.

Death By Position

Matt Farrell: You just killed a helicopter with a car!
John McClane: I was out of bullets.

"Live Free Or Die Hard"

I still have no idea why they have to release movies in Australia with different titles than they were released with in the US. Te latest was "Live Free Or Die Hard" which was released here as "Die Hard 4.0" – kind of a dud title if you ask me. Even if you didn't know that the original title was based on the state motto of New Hampshire, it's a kick ass title regardless! Another notable change that spring to mind was "The Rundown" – released as "Welcome to the Jungle" (ok, that one was a better title here). I just don't see the big reason for it. Interestingly, when the Michael Keaton movie "Mr Mom" was released in 1983, it was released as "Mr Mum" in England, but still released as "Mr Mom" here in Australia. Anyway, another little pointless tangent there, my point is why go to the extra trouble to change the name for an Australian audience – unless it is for legal reasons – we can understand the American culture to get the movie.

I had a down night at poker last week, but I didn't play too badly. It was the first time in a very long time that I have noticed how bad positions were really affecting me. A couple of times I laid down the best hand when caught in between two rasiers, but you get that from time to time. I had a couple of cooler hands that made a dent after being up early, and then came back at the end of the night to lessen the impact. Good people though and a friendly game – much more passive than the usual home games. 4BB pre-flop gets some respect here!

I have tried to get more time to play online, but have been really busy of late. I had a real up and down session last night that ended up, so that was good. I have set myself a goal of getting a hoodie through frequent player points – which I kind of need a goal like that to keep playing, being a bonus whore that I am. I haven't got any bonus dollars to clear at the minute on any sites, so this kind of action keeps me going. Besides, who couldn't do with a new hoodie 6 years after they went out of fashion?

We were talking over dinner the other night with some friend about buying clothes, and I couldn't remember the last time I actually paid for clothes for myself. The last lot of business clothes were bought by me but paid for by my parents or the in-laws as a Xmas present last year, and any casual clothes were either points earned in a card room or bought from Amazon vouchers through Poker Source Online. Half my closest is because of PSO now – not that I have an extensive closet to begin with, but you get the picture. I've always had trouble justifying spending money on myself, and to a lesser extent having the Distraction spend money on…well, anything. She likes to go crazy on the credit card from time to time, but such is her nature. When it comes to spending money on friends though, we're all for it and it sometimes can be generosity to a fault, but that is only because we have such great friends and nothing is too good for them (sincerely). And I just know for a fact that when Little Ed joins us, everything in that department will change. Of course, second hand will be second nature to this child, but when there is a dollar in my pocket, you can bet 99c will go to Little Ed.

Just finished reading the Stu Unger book. What a sad story – but a great read. Highly recommend it to any poker players out there. The bits of Stu's writings mixed in gave it a great feel as well as the many personal accounts. Although the level of his drug habit was talked about late in the book, it was a glancing mention in the early stages and even suggested that he was well against this kind of behaviour. I thought the book dealt with his fall from grace very well and showed how it affected everything – in particular, when he wanted to buy things for his daughter, and how at the time he reflected on the millions he had given away over the years.

The addiction of gambling is something poker enthusiasts sometimes choose to ignore. After all, we derive some of our profits from that very addiction and way well loose because of it too. Gambling addiction deserves further discussion here rather than a rambling tangent, so I will talk about it more in my next post.

He's Back

Jason Bourne: Do you even know why you're supposed to kill me? Look at us. Look at what they make you give.

"Bourne Ultimatum"

Tomorrow is our first visit to the obstetrician with the Distraction and Little Ed. Don't really know what to expect, probably just a little inspection of the incubator and a quick explanation of what to expect from here on in. All very exciting times and I'm sure we will continue to treat everything like we are the first people in the world to go through all of this. What other way could you be?

We've had plenty of generous offers from friends for second hand baby stuff, and you can damn well bet we're taking anything anyone is willing to give. Little Ed is going to be very familiar with hand me downs, I can ensure that.

But back to poker. The loosing streak that started half way through July and all of August ended on the first day of September for live games. It was at a different home game where I am a regular, and finally some hands held up for me – though the night was not without it's dramas. I ended up for my best single session result this year, and second best result overall it what became a bit of a wild night. I won about $5 on the very first hand of the night, and I was never below that point for the entire 12 hours.

I had my fair share of cards, with pocket aces back to back at one stage. The first was a decent sized pot when four diamonds met the board and my ace was good. The second one was over before the turn so a small game that I was happy with.

Then I took a small hit with QQ – after a small bet pre-flop, I raised and had a short stack call all-in. Then the original raiser came back over the top. At this stage, I had the equivalent of 2-3 buy ins in front of me, and he had me covered. It seemed an obvious play with Aces or Kings, so I folded. Turns out he had Jacks. The short stack won the pot anyway, but I could have cleaned up on the QQ vs JJ on that hand. I didn't loose any extra, just what I could have gained. I had seen this player over play a hand or two at this point as he was well ahead in chips. I knew he would loose his head sooner or later, I just hoped I would be there to call him. I was right – he did loose it but unfortunately not to me.

Poker should be fun, and it is hard to have fun while you are loosing sometimes, and we have to keep everyone happy. I have obviously been going through a rough run and so when it looked like things had begun to change for me, I intended to keep it that way. I have seen every bad river card you could imagine in the last month, so my goal tonight was to either avoid the river or give myself some other protection.

With pocket tens, I saw a lot of runners call a small pre-flop raise. Knowing that nobody else had a pair, or at least a decent one, I pushed all-in for a little over a buy-in, hoping to take it right there. I was called by one player – a gambling, drawing type player who would call with any picture cards or decent suited cards. Before he turned over his hand, I offered to run it twice just so even if I did loose, I might have a chance at half the pot and a small profit. I was sure I was ahead, but you don't want to see a lazy ace or king on the flop and then know you have two outs only. I assumed he had a good ace and it was basically a coin flip anyway. He agreed, and showed A9c – about as good as I could hope for. Both times the board came and left without an ace or clubs, so the tens were good for a scoop.

Another time I offered a deal was against a player who had perhaps his 7th buy in on the table. I made a re-raise pre-flop and he went all-in for $50. I had the wild player from before saying he would have called me, but the all-in was too much. Damn! That could have been nice because I was holding pocket aces again. The wild player folded and it was just up to me and the player all-in. I showed my hand and said "I'll let you take half your buy in back if you forfeit the pot now". I think I gave him a pretty good deal there, way more than whatever his hand was worth. But since he was down so much, he decided to gamble and take the run at the whole pot anyway with JJ. The door card was an ace, and it was all over. Another nice pot came my way.

But the biggest hand of the night that I was involved in could have broke me, and wasn't without its controversy though everyone was very good about it and didn't give it a second thought later.

One player had left the table for whatever reason, and usually we just fold their hand when it gets to them, and life goes on. This time however, there was a bit of discussion if we should do that and by then the player had returned so we let him play it anyway. I called a small raise with T9d. the flop was Js7d2h and there was a small bet of $5 for me an another player to call from the would-be absentee hand. The turn came 8s, which fills my gut-shot straight but puts a flush possibility on the board. I bet out $8, others fold to the absentee who confidently raised me to $20. I check the board again, just to confirm I have the nuts. At this point, I think he flopped two pair so the outs he has are less than the flush, but he could have played a suited ace which is likely, but to pair seems to fit the situation better. J7o I could see him on easily.

Now, because of the horror run I have been having recently, I was petrified of the river card. Sure, at the moment I have the nuts and I could string him along. But I really just want to take it right here, and I call for a raise. I thought about bumping it up to $50 which sends a clear message, but knowing the player that was enough for him to call and I would be happier for him to fold. I really just didn't want the drama of seeing the river card sink me yet again, I'll take the pot right here and be sure of it. I pushed all-in as we both had a few buy-ins in front of me. I wanted an instant fold, but he had to think about it and asked me to count. I had $173 left after calling his raise. He could cover it.

He went into the tank to think about it, and I said he could have as long as he wanted. Then I started to think about ways I could get more money while still getting him to fold. I offered to let him see a card of my choice for $20 – of his choice because usually that means a pocket pair, but in this case either card would show I had the straight surely, and he would have to fold and I'd make an extra $20. After quite a while, he finally folded and asked me to show my hand anyway. I was relived he folded, and since we are all friends and it was obviously a hard decision, I showed him that I had the nuts on the turn. He had J8 – top two pair on the turn. Through the miracle of rabbit hunting, we found another jack on the river. That could have meant the end of my poker career right there.

I did say if he called, I would have offered every deal under the sun before the river card came out – run it twice, give him half back or anything to lessen the damage, so it might have been alright anyway.

In the end, I wiped him out about an hour later when he went all in on a board of Qs7s4hAd. I had KsJs, so I thought a good flush draw and a gut shot straight to go with it, it was worth the final $30 he had at this stage. He had Q9, so I had more outs to the 3 kinds as well. The river was the Ace of spades, so finally I had hit a river card to sink someone else – albeit with 15 outs instead of the 2 and 3 outs I have been loosing to constantly.

Only three people left the night up, and I was second out of them. The big winner was the luck box to my left (actually a really good player, but he couldn't help hit hands on this night) and the wild player to my right was also up after getting some pay-offs late in the game.

It was a good feeling to finally have an up night after what felt like ages. I had a six session winning streak leading into a 4 session loosing one leaving me just above even for the year. The latest session gives me some breathing room in the bankroll leading to a long weekend here in Sydney which will surely see some cards in the air.

Surround Yourself With Good People

Joe Miller: Now, explain it to me like I'm a four-year-old.

"Philadelphia"

The bad results continue to flow in, but at least it was a little different this week. Yes, there was still the horrible beats that saw huge pots get pushed the other way, but they were far more infrequent. The lost pots this time around were more my fault than anyone else's – folding a weak pair to a bluff, miss timing a bluff myself and generally not making good calls or bets when needed. I still didn't get much luck, but I contributed more to the downfall this time so at least there is something I can build on.

The only problem is, I am still in the position where one bad night will wipe out the live bankroll. Not very good timing but I am sure things will turn around.

We had a little blow up during the game, where one player went all in and then was instantly called by another with the nuts – but he was holding some chips in his hand and not on the table, but they were visible - blah blah blah. Neither player wanted to yield and it just turned into a yelling match, and I was lucky enough to be seated between the two of them. While it would be a waste of time to give my opinion of events here of what happened and what should have happened, I think home games can sometimes turn this way when some of the wrong elements come into play, and that was really disappointing.

The reason we all meet in a friend's garage is to play poker. There is no doubt that I would not know anyone of these guys if not for poker, but now I consider the host more than just a poker buddy. I know I could rely on him for anything I asked, and vice versa. Disagreements like this shouldn't happen amongst friends, but we all know that when money and ego is involved – and both always are in poker – then people tend to change their actions a little.

On this occasion, it had the chance to ruin the game for everyone when neither player wanted to yield their position for whatever reason. What was a good sign was nearly every other player offered to pay the difference just to keep the game going and get the next hand dealt. I think that is the best thing that could happen and shows that the majority of the table wasn't concerned with the money at stake, they just wanted to play some more poker amongst friends. What more could you ask for?

Still Drowning

Elaine Dickinson: There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?

"Airplane"

Poker has been up and down of late. I had a good session which was followed by a grinding session that ended with a horrific beat. Thankfully the good session was bigger than the horrific beat and a small profit was gained.

I have taken a likening to Backgammon, though only on the free game side of things. I started of great in that too, but I know enough to know that I know nothing about backgammon and there is much more to the game than the throw of the dice. However it didn't seem like it when the opponent rolls 4 doubles in a row to finish off the game to beat me by 1 pip. But I guess that is the equivalent of a backgammon bad beat story, huh?

In the home game on Friday night, I was way up early and then spent the rest of the night folding and showing down with the second best had to end the night well down yet again. When the chip stacks were high, I made a few calls that I was pretty sure I was beat, but had to look. On a board of 666Ax, I had to call the final bet with an Ace even though my opponent was far too excited to have anything less than the 6 in his hand. I made another few calls in similar circumstances before some more bad beats came my way and all of a sudden you are looking at your fourth buy in.

The bad calls cost me my first buy in, all the others were also lost to bad calls – just that they were not my bad calls. I can't remember the last time one particular player didn't hit their draw after calling me all-in. But that is the way it goes sometimes. 3 terrible sessions in a row though, and the bankroll is looking very light, almost to the point of broke.

Funny occurrence in the game though. I have TT in middle position, and call a $2 bet. Every player calls it, and then the big blind makes a non-sense raise to $4 for whatever reason, but he does this often. There are a few calls in front of me and I decided that nobody else has a pair, or at least a big one, so I can take it right here for maybe a $20 profit, I'm happy with that. I re-raised to $40. I got one caller, one of the guys who has been hitting everything no matter what he has held the last few weeks (including the 666 hand above). The flop is 9 high, and I bet out just $20 hoping he tries to go back over the top of me, but he just calls. The turn is a Q, so now I check because he could very easily called with AQ suited, or even KQ suited (sounds ridiculous, but it's the truth.). I am pretty sure he has AK, but don't want to risk any more. If he wants to shove it all in I will call, but otherwise lets leave the pot as it is. He checks behind me, the river comes J and the process is repeated. He slams down AK and I show my one pair of tens.

Now I made a tidy profit in that hand without it every improving, and it was most of the reason why I was up early. But his comments afterwards showed what was happening in the game. He couldn't believe his AK didn't hit, and that it lost. He couldn't believe how unlucky he was that he lost that hand. Ok – so it is a coin flip pre flop, but I'd like to think I can lay down AK for a 40 bet re-raise. Even so, when it misses I am not calling 20 bets on the flop. One of the other players tried to explain to him that he didn't get unlucky – he just didn't get lucky. But he got lucky so often that he now came to expect it, and that was what was happening for a few weeks now. I thought it said a lot.

I know there is an upswing just around the corner, I just hope I last long enough to greet it.

The Most Important Poker On Film Blog Post Ever

Dale Putley: Jack, look at this.
Jack Lawrence: It's money. I remember it from when I was single.

"Father's Day"

Last week was the single worst week of my poker playing career, and then some. I never looked like winning a pot, I played well and lost every time and felt like there was nothing I could do about it and went into tilt. I increased the limits, increased the tables, and lost still. I lost 25% of my bankroll. At the same time, at least it was only 25% and it could have been worse. It would have been worse, had I really cared about it.

After my 5th buy in went south at the home game, I had reached my stop-loss limit for the second week in a row. I was leaving an hour earlier than the last time, and to be honest I was lucky it lasted that long. I knew I would go home and go straight online just like I did last time, and I hoped the fortunes I had last time would also be reflected.

Usually when I come home, the Distraction wakes long enough to mutter some sentence like "How did you go?" and then falls asleep before I have even answered. I was ready for it and eyed the computer to get fired up and start winning some money back.

"Turn on the light" she said.

At 4am? Instantly, I knew what would be coming next. She handed me a little plastic rod and a piece of paper. The plastic rod was a pregnancy test, and the paper was the instructions for it. Right before me, parallel blue lines indicated what we hoped they would.

Ever since a drive to a poker room in January where I had a bit of a chat with a good friend about life and everything else. He is a bit older than me with three kids, but just as big a poker tragic as myself. He asked if the Distraction and I wanted kids, and I said of course we do, but we are really far in debt and can't afford it right now. And he said some words that I will never forget for as long as I live.

"You can wait and get your finances sorted out and that's great and all, but at the end of the day you can not give those 10 years back to your kids".

He is a big believer in Karma, and that everything will work itself out. It might be struggle street for a while, but things will work out in the end. That seems to work for me 99% of the time, things work out and you go with the flow. It all made sense to me.

That night I had a really good night, my best this year so far results wise and we called it quits early. I got home, woke up the wife and told her that even though we planned to start trying after we had a few more debts paid off, I don't want to wait.

After a few weeks, the Distraction had a doctors appointment and found out some of her immunisations were not up to date, and falling pregnant now while not really risky was not preferred. So she had a few needles and we were forced to wait. Once the recommended time was up, we became a slave to her body's natural cycle.

You know how in highschool you spent 99% of your time chasing tail? Well, this was like the exact opposite of that. It's a tough job, but some ones got to do it and it's probably for the best that it's me.

After our first month of properly trying, ovulation kits and all, we have "Little Ed" on the way, due April 2nd. We've already decided not to know the sex before birth and then we will name it when the two of us get a moment alone with "Little Ed".

My buddy from the drive in January is over the moon, and I've printed out all the emails we have been trading since I told him for The Distraction and to keep for prosperity.

It is just a tragedy that we have to wait so long, but both of us are over the moon and can't wait for "Little Ed" to join us, even though we are very very early on in the pregnancy.

Since then I have made a big withdrawal from the poker bankroll, and with the rest of it have started making some better plays and better results. All the poker losses just don't seem that important now, and the single worst poker night in my life was also the greatest so far. I'm sure it will be trumped come the new year.

Bad Poker, Bad!

Droz: We need kegs. Multiple, cold and domestic.

"PCU Pit Party"

In back to back weeks, I have had the worst results of my poker playing career. The most recent wasn't even close, as all night I was lucky to hit a pair at the best of times. It started with getting big pairs cracked back to back real early on and then went down hill from there. There were no real bad beats until I was already 4 buy-ins down, it was just poor starting hands that never hit, draws that never came and ok hands that got out-flopped. I won 7 hands in an 8 hour session, and 3 of them were bluffs – none of them on big hands either.

There is nothing more I can say about it really, even my friend sitting next to me couldn't believe how bad it was. After loosing 5 buy-ins, I ran back through everything in my head and I thought I had played only one hand wrong all night – when I thought I had hit a straight but I had mistaken an 9 in my hole cards for a 8. Besides that, I played very well but just had no chances at any pots.

And it continued online, except the money lost was bigger and there were plenty of bad beats. KK lost 4 out of 5 times, the final was against T9 on a ten high flop – 9 came on the turn. This was against a player who previously made a horrible call against two others who were already all-in. He had a Jack high flush draw up against a flopped set and an Ace high flush draw, and he hit a runner-runner flush for a 4-buy in pot.

It is frustrating again to see when I get "lucky" which seems increasingly rare, I save $20. When the player to my left or right gets lucky, they make $600.

But poker is not everything, and some drastic changes are in the mix. More on this later and I apologize for not writing more but there are some pressing matters that need attention and I will elaborate on this in a future post. Rest assured, it will be documented here in the coming weeks.

Reasons For My Fishiness

Xerxes: Your Athenian rivals will kneel at your feet... if you but kneel at mine.
Spartan King Leonidas: That is quite an offer. Only a mad man would refuse it. But this kneeling business... I'm afraid killing all those slaves of yours has left me with a nasty cramp in my leg.

"300"

I have now completed all the PSO bonus' that I wish to at the moment, but I do have one point I'd like to make. I was a little disappointed that you can only use one skin on the Micro gaming network, as PSO offer multiple skins. This is obviously not PSO's choice, as more of a choice of the Micro Gaming (formerly Prima) sites that stop bonus whores like myself from abusing their generosity. I say, if I'm prepared to play the 1000 hands to get a small bonus, why not let me do it a few times over? You know I'm good for the action and they wouldn't be offering the bonus in the first place if that action couldn't cover it.

Instead, now that the bonus has ended, I am going to trot back to the old faithful Full Tilt and Poker Stars. As I am moving up in levels, there should be some interesting times to had as I carve out a new image for myself at the tables.

last night was a quick hit and run, I was up enough at the cash game to pay for entry at a MTT starting in 5 minutes time, so I decided to use that as a free roll and see what happens. I won one good pot early, and then folded 38 hands in a row pre-flop. The best of it was 77 when I got re-raised by the BB, and then another player on a short stack went all-in for about 80% of what I had. I had to fold, and lucky so as the short stack flopped a full house with 55 on a JJ5 board. The re-raiser had ATo. Nice re-raise there buddy – I actually saved me money on that one though. I did eventually knock him out after he was going all-in on very nearly ever hand. But that was as exciting as it got for me as I got to see a flop for free from the big blind with A6o. Flop was 763 and I bet out only to be raised all-in. I called, half because I thought I could be ahead and half because it was the first time I had hit a pair in 4 orbits. He had 33 and I was gone in 50th or somewhere near there.

I am noticing a lot of profit coming from cracking Aces and Kings. While some people could correctly assume this involves a little bit of luck coming your way, it also helps when opponents get married to their big pairs. An all unders flop? "Golden" they say, "I'll just string him along. Perfect example – 34o on the SB, UTG raised to $4 pre flop. Everyone else folds, so I call because if he has high cards, chances are my cards are live and if I miss, I can easily get away from this hand. Besides, my reads online have been going pretty good of late so I am trusting them.

Pot is $8.50 after rake (massive limits, I know, but you'll never find me claiming to be a high roller) and comes Qd5d6h. I have an open ended straight draw, something to look forward to and if he doesn't have a flush draw, that could be good cover for my draw. I check, wanting to keep this as cheap as possible, and he bets out $5. So now I have to call $5 to a $13.50 pot. I will go into what I consider the analysis of this decision later and my thinking of the maths and what not. Anyway, I called and consider that an easy decision. The turn is my mad, the deuce of spades. I check to let him hang himself as my call would indicate a flush draw and it missed here, so surely he has to make me pay for it (unless he has it himself). He bets about half the pot at $9. I check-raise him to $50 which is more than he has at the table so it was really a raise to about $40. Here is the crucial point of the hand where he has to make a decision. What do I put him on? That is not really important as I hold the nuts. I figure he might have a pair, maybe TPTK in which case he is drawing dead. He might have been playing tricky and hit trips or two pair in which case he has outs, or he could have a flush draw – in both cases he is going to have to call for all his chips to get it. There is also the chance he puts me on a bluff, but to be honest I think the all-in bet would be enough to win the hand right here, and may have actually cost me a value bet on the river if he had something like AQ or KQ. In the end he called with KK and was drawing dead. Of course I get called a donkey for cracking his pocket kings with 34o – but really, did he have to go broke on that hand? I gave him every opportunity to fold and he wouldn't take it. I have his whole stack, and he has a story to tell. Some times I think people call with their big pairs when they should know they are beaten just so they can say how unlucky they are. Ok, I could have had AQ or KQ in his mind, but is that the kind of hand I want to be check-raising with? I don't like that play on that board at all.

Now about that call on the turn – and my thoughts on playing draws in general. Here is my thought process for better or worse. I am getting just under 3-1 on the call for an OESD. I have 8 outs, and just over 2% a card so that's about 17% for the straight on the turn and about 34% for it on the turn and river. The exact numbers don't matter because I am not operating on the level where ±4% will matter. Good if you know them, but really not important. So is the 3-1 pay off worth it? Perhaps, but I doubt I will get paid 3-1 in this case. If I hit, most of the time he will have something that is worth calling a value bet with or I could check raise as above. My pay off will be bigger than the 3-1 it was on the flop. Of course, if the my dream card didn't come on the turn then my odds of winning will be greatly diminished and any decent player would make me pay a second time for the same draw.

That is something I think about a lot at the home games, when less experienced players are considering calling a bet on the flop. They consider they have to call say $10 to have two chances to hit their flush or straight. I remind them they have to call $10 to hit their draw on the TURN only – because if it is an obvious draw that doesn't come on the turn, there is no way they are seeing the river for free. Gives them something else to think about when drawing heads up against me anyway.

So, for the above 34o vs KK, how would I have played it differently if I was the KK? I would have probably put me on a Queen or a flush draw as he obviously did. $5 on the flop – probably less than I would have but not by much. I want AQ to call, if a flush comes I know I am good enough to dump an over pair. $9 on the turn – again, I might have gone a few dollars higher to make the flush draw really think, but $9 is ok in my book. Would I still call the over-bet from the check-raise? Probably not. I've folded bigger hands that that before. I would have lost far less on the hand I think. What if the 34o just called? I think I would have called a small to medium bet on the river, certainly not an all-in and I would have checked if it was checked to me.

I have been accused before of being gun shy, but I am slowly shaking that (besides the Kings full of tens check on a KhJhTh9hTc board).

Home games this week will not be on, but there is an outside chance that we will be paying a visit to the local card room for a quick session Saturday afternoon in between social engagements. It's been a while since I have been back to this card room and never during day light hours, so it will be interesting to see what kind of crowd and what games they run during the day. Hopefully just a quick few SNG's and we'll be on our way.

I just won a good argument that would have made a good prop bet, if my workmates were into gambling as much as I apparently am. Orko was definitely in the original cartoon series of "He-Man" – turns out he was created specifically for the cartoon series. I only bring this up because the original Spider-Man cartoons are now on in the mornings here, and today I got to see the first episode where Peter Parker gets bitten. You know, I don't think the live action movies give Spidey enough snappy lines like he does in the comics and the original cartoon – or perhaps my mind is just clouded by the sub-par showing we had this year of the third in the trilogy.

At least I still have a few episodes of Briscoe County Jr to fall back on. I get the feeling that it was not meant to be as dodgy or cliché as it is, but I am still enjoying this old timer. An example of what I mean is in one episode when the bad guy of the week is riding off on his horse with maiden on the back, he stops and has this little exchange with the woman.

"We're being tracked…It's Brisco County Jr."
"How can you tell?"
"Because I can't see him."

And then they show Brisco riding his horse through the flattest, most impossible to hide in scene at full pace. Yep, he's a master of tracking this Brisco! Ah, it's all good fun though.

The Rollercoaster

Sebastian: Well, your objections have been duly noted and summarily overruled.
Sarah: Yes, Sir!
Sebastian: How come when you say "Yes, Sir" it kinda sounds like "Fuck you!"
Sarah: Practice!

"Hollow Man"

As predicted, after a little Poker absence I went into Poker Binge mode over the weekend. It started with the regular home game on Friday night. I made a really good decision in the early goings when I was forced to go all-in with two pair, but there were three spades on the board and the opponent is known to play any suited cards. When he didn't call straight away, obviously I was good.

After that, things got sour. I had few premium hands and got really sick of seeing 4-rag as my hole cards. When I did get good starting hand – queens once and jacks maybe 3 times, they were beaten to within an inch of their life. Then another player had another amazing run of luck where every coin-flip or 4-10 outer went their way, when they weren't flopping boats with K2o. This made me play even worse by calling pre-flop raises out of position with things like 58o or T7s. As you would assume, things got worse from there and I ended the night early after reaching my stop-loss limit.

While I can not really blame anyone but myself for the way I played, it was extremely frustrating to see someone rake in pot after pot with what seemed like boundless luck. I have been on a bit of a run of late in the live game, having 6 winning sessions in a row. But I felt like I had to play at my absolute best to grind out those profits, making brave bets when I needed to and even better calls when all I had was a pair. I guess that is the way poker is sometimes, but driving home at 5am with the wallet empty was not a pleasant experience.

Luckily, there were no cliffs between the game and my house.

I was tired. I was on tilt. I was depressed more than I had any right to be. It was still very dark at 5am. I had reached my stop-loss for the first time this year, which is 5 buy-ins. And I wasn't yet satisfied. I needed to play more hands. I wanted to play online even though this was probably the poster child for wrong times to be playing poker.

Online, I have been having ups and downs as readers would know. The current site, through PSO, has been really rude to me but I have managed to stay just above even thanks to some returns of luck and a little bit of Blackjack. I decided that luck should have little to do with it and I need to think less about what an opponent does and more about why they do it. Sounds like the first lesson of poker to me.

I was examining my results over the past few months during the week, and I have been pushing towards a certain marker in bankroll size for some time. It was getting there slowly, but I was a little stunted as of late. I felt like I was really grinding out the small profit and it just wasn't a sufficient win or loss either way. I had a good feel for the table size and players as a broad generalisation. I have been playing at the same level for quite some time, with the ups covering the downs by a little bit. I had decided during the week that I needed to move up a level to keep improving. Not based on the ratio of my bankroll to the size of the buy in or blinds, but because I was ready and able to accommodate the perceived increase in play. I firmly believe that in the times I have dabbled in the past at this greater level, the play is less rocky which I like to an extent.

So why not dive right in at 5am after dumping your last buy in at a home game on a draw?

I did, and lo and behold I played well. Folded when I had to, called when I should, and raised when it seemed appropriate. No river beats given and none taken. Just a solid little session an hour in length that netted a ½ buy in profit without getting in any danger. Sleep would be a little easier now.

Over the weekend, I found more time to return to the digital felt and apply my new focus to the games. I had 5 sessions over the weekend, and all ended in profit. That included one game where I was down a buy in before coming back to net single-digit profit which I was more than happy with.

And it could have been so much better. I had a nut flush draw and heads up against an inferior flush draw – that hit a pair of sevens on the river to take the pot. I had KQ loose to KJ also on the river when we were all-in on the turn when he spiked a Jack. I had flopped a set that lost to a turned flush, and I found myself in another situation where I could not pull the trigger holding KT on a board that showed Kc Th Jh Kh 9h. The pot was sizable, and opponent checked to me on the river. I felt like an all-in would only get called by KJ or the queen on hearts, and that I didn't want. So I just checked, and he had the ace of hearts. Yeah, he just might have called a value bet there.

Other than that, I made some great bluffs when representing hands, including a very uncharacteristic all-in check raise bluff when I was betting my draw that missed. Guess he missed his draw too then. I had my fair share of luck as well, but this time around it was in proportion and not when I was too short stacked to make anything of it. I did call a shortstack all in with TT vs AA, but when you buy in to the table with 15BB and get called, what more can you expect? Why not just play blackjack if you are going to gamble like that?

My best laydown cost me $50 or more still, but it was a difficult one. I have J9o and see a flop with 2 others. I have $190, first position has $70 and second position has $170. Flop is QdTd6c. First to act bets small, second calls as do I. turn is Kc, completing my open-ended straight. First and second both check, so I bet out to make any flush chasers pay some. FP calls and SP makes a regular sized raise. I think about shoving it all in, but decided instead to re-raise to $44. I have a big stack and he would surely know that I am not bluffing here. FP calls, and then SP goes all-in. Ouch – there is only one hand that beats me at the moment, and if he has AJd then I am in real trouble. I have to use some of my time bank to think about it, as this pot is now nearing the $400 mark if I call. I decided that there is little chance he has J9 as well, and if he does have that then I can only hope he doesn't have the flush as well. That is pretty much the best case scenario for me, and I have to lay it down. FP calls, which I am very happy about since it lets me see the cards. The river is a blank, and SP shows AhJd.

I don't think I played the hand perfectly, and in hind sight he has given me plenty of hints that he has me beat and it should be a regulation fold perhaps. But in the moment, with all those chips in front of me and all those chips in the middle, I really had to decide if I was folding a chopped pot or not. In the end I made the right decision, and perhaps the $44 raise saved me from a bigger bet on the river anyway. When the diamond didn't come, maybe I put him on the flush draw and would be bluffing me? Who knows, but in the end I came out un-scathed and with still more than the original buy-in in front of me.

My biggest profit hand was – drum roll – pocket Aces! I had them a few times and usually won the blinds only. Once when I did try to slow play them pre-flop, opponent flopped two tens and I was forced into making one of those crying calls. Other times I was fortunate enough to get it from the big blind with a raise in front of me. A re-raise and the short stacks go all in, I call and no beats come so I take a reasonable sized pot.

The best was with a stack of $99, I decided to call the standard sized raise by the button from the small blind as did the big blind. Flop comes Ks3d6s. I have AsAh, so that is a good enough flop for me. If he has KK then I'm screwed, but that is life. If he has the flush draw then I want him to pay and hopefully not see another card if I can, and if he has just a king, then happy days.

Pot was $12, so I bet out $6. To me, if he has the flush draw or set, he would just call. Anything less and he probably wants to raise. BB folded so that was a flush-worry gone. Button raises to $16. That's pretty much what I wanted to see, as there is no way he puts me on AA and I am now fairly confident on AK or a flush draw. If he has the flush draw though, it's not the to the nuts as I have the Ace of spades.

What would he think if I pushed all in here? If he has AK, he might put me on the same hand or a small set, but not two pair and I've already ruled out rockets. He has me covered by a few dollars, and the pot already has $20 of his chips in there so lets make him make a decision. If he instantly calls, then I am screwed. If he has to think about it, then happy days.

I push all-in for a gross over-bet. Even if he folds, the pot is big enough to satisfy me.

And he thinks about it…there is only good news from here on in.

And then there is better news – he starts talking in the chat box. I decided to indulge him.

"Oooo…what have you got?"

One of my good friends from the home game likes to make sure the whole table is having fun, and is happy to forego some small profit in the mean time to make sure everyone is enjoying themselves. He'll do things like promise to show his hand if they fold, and then do so, or agree to check down a pot from the flop. I decided to do the same here and quell his curiosity if he wanted it

"Do you want me to show?" – and I clicked the buttons "muck winning hands" so that I could show him, and then I threw him a curve.

"Then call – lol". I threw the "lol" for two reasons; one because I did intend to show (and expected him to fold) and two because I am playing under a female name so it seems to fit the part.

"I have K T…"
"And you have to think about it?" – Let him make of that what he pleases. But if I had KT, I'd have folded by now.
"You on a flush draw?"

Now this is where it gets tricky. If I say "Yep", I don't know if that will push him either way, or whether that is what he wants to hear or if he will even believe me. For some reason though, I don't want to lie and then show that I was lying. I joined this little banter to give him some fun and not make an enemy. I do have a back door flush draw though, but if I say as much then that might tell him what I have. I still want him to call if he has AK, which is what I believe he has now that he has to think about it. I want him to think it is a split pot – that way he will be surprised and happy if he folds, and I'll be in a great position if he calls.

"Could be" is what I decided to go with, after taking some time to think about it which probably did me no harm.

Eventually he calls, and has AK. Turn and river bring no spades or kings, and I take home a big pot. He goes silent.

"AK, that's what I thought you really had". Maybe a little needling, but fuck him he lied to me. I decide it is best to leave it there.

A few hands later, I called a post flop raise with just over cards and hit a king on the turn. It gets checked to the river and I take the pot while the loser of the hand (different player) laments that his pair of tens were no good.

"Your (sic) just a lucky fish."

"Yes I am" I said, then cashed out as that hand was the final one I needed to clear for the PSO bonus. Seconds later, I was putting through a withdrawal for the full amount and never again will they see me at those tables. I had more than doubled my original deposit to the site and was in a state of euphoria as I had more than made up for the losses on Friday night.

My Old Friend - Tilt-Jack

Morty: He's always chasing the pot of gold, but when he gets there, at the end of the day, it's just corn flakes.

"Click"

A busy social calendar over the weekend meant no live poker, but I did manage a big session online during the early hours of Saturday. I proceeded to get dealt bad cards, see bad flops and then play them badly – which all of course ended badly. I could not hold on to a buy in if I tried, and then got on massive tilt and headed to the blackjack tables. Two hands later when the dealer busted both times, and all of a sudden tilt is over. I don't think I'll be making a habit of that though.

That was about the extent of my poker week, besides me and a friend doing our best to sort out all the problems with the WSOP. A few years ago, we would both follow the main even just about hand for hand. Last year we would only check in now and then to see what was happening, and this year we just don't really care all that much at all. What was once the jewel in the Poker crown is now just another tournament for us who watch. I'm sure it is different for those involved and whoever wins, but really it isn't what it used to be. I would like to join the chorus of people calling for the entry fee to be doubled at least. We adopted the official "Knock down, rebuild" approach for the WSOP.

I do think though that some steps have been taken in the right direction. The $50K Horse event is a good idea introduced last year. Making the various World Champion events clearer was also a good idea, but basically 50-odd bracelets given out each year is a bit much. The WC events should be something special above a normal bracelet event, and I hope they are treated that way from now on.

But anyway, we are nearing the end of the main event for another year and still some big names remain. I wonder if this year will be the first time since Chris Ferguson that the ME winner's bracelet will not be their first? That would be a good thing for poker, as the bubble is finally bursting to have some of the recognised pros come to the front.

That was poker – most of the weekend just past was spent looking at our fish tank, which now has its first inhabitants. 10 little Neon Tetras, which we have called our Canaries – because they are there to make sure the environment is safe for others. If they can last out the week, we will start adding new fish and get something a little more diverse. The 10 little fish are well dwarfed by the size of the tank, and it took them a few hours before they were comfortable enough to venture further than the back corner. When we awoke this morning, all 10 were still alive so that is all we can ask for at the moment.

From Rock To Calling Station

Pete: I wish I liked anything as much as my kids like bubbles.

"Knocked Up"

I've just had one of those weekends where nothing major happened, but it was almost a perfect weekend. I spent some quality time with the Distraction, I spent some quality time at the felt, saw some good movies, won some prop bets, got some stuff done around the house and even had time to check out the latest happenings in the main even at the World Series. If you haven't already, head over to Poker News to see the hand of the day for Day 1b. And people say online poker is rigged!

To sum up the weekend, I might go into point form as there was a lot that happened that was just a good weekend.

FRIDAY
- Started with adjusting my poker spreadsheet with some pivot tables, which I have never used before. I'm no computer programmer or anything, but I'd like to think my computer user abilities are above the national average. Having never used them before, I gave myself a quick tutorial and then after fixing up the spreadsheet, I used it at work for another task I have that made a 2 hour job down to ten minutes. That's just awesome.
- Poker Friday night was a good turnout. We had between 5-7 players for the majority of the night which is my preferred size. One player again had an amazing run, with any suited cards he would call any bet. The worst of it was when one player went all-in blind for $17, I called with QQ. Next player raises $30 (max buy in is only $50 remember – the home game of champions!) and then another players calls all-in. Tonights luck box calls and I have to gather that I am behind. With more than $70 left in front of me, I don't want to be all in here against four others, so I let it go. Blind player has Q7, raiser has AA, caller has JJ and the luck box has 23s. Yep, 3 spades on the board by the turn (and a jack as well). 23s scooped the pot, and ended the night as big winner. That's ok though, because he usually donates so it will come back.
- Personally, I had nothing going for the first buy in which lasted an hour, and my second buy in was pure gold. I had one player continually bluff the river against me. Usually I would fold these hands, but earlier in the night he did the same thing against another player and showed the bluff. By the "same thing", I mean a very quick big bet on the river. I have seen him do this before as a bluff months ago, but when the time came for me to call him he had the nuts that time. I decided to test it again tonight and the first time when I had top pair, a flush draw didn't come through and he bet big on the river. I just called to see his missed flush. Next time, he missed the straight and made the big bet again. I called. That was a $125 pot with just one pair. He tried to bluff me maybe 6 times with the big bets, and by the end I figured he had me but just called because I had maybe two pair and to see – and again, he was bluffing. Later I figured out what his bets meant, as he always used one of three betting options. Min-bet meant he had bottom pair or a draw. $4-$5 meant he was strong or a made hand. Instant bet of $20+ meant a bluff. On Friday night, that was true 100$ of the time and I finished the night up $170.
- Funniest hand of the night – after dealing some big pots to one particular player, he was then cold decked and asked for some help as I shuffled.
"What you got for me?". He was playing Africans and Indians on the side as well (black or red flop, if all of one colour then the payout doubles) so I said to him "I'll give you an all red flop, and then you'll suck out on the river to win the pot." Flop comes 2 hearts and a diamond, and then he hit a Jack on the river to win with one pair. I received no tip.
- After that hand, the loosing player claimed it was a conspiracy, and I said it couldn't be because a conspiracy implies that we had done it in secret, when in fact I was very open about what was going on. He said a conspiracy doesn't have to be secret so I bet him $5 on the side that dictionary.com definition has secrecy or something pertaining to it for "conspiracy". I love prop bets, and after paying up he still refused to believe it. I offered double or nothing on the same bet, but he respectively declined.

SATURDAY
- First up, the distraction let me sleep in as she went to get her hair done. A deeper sleep I have never had.
- Distraction comes home and the hair looks great, cost $60 less than usual. Can't argue with that.
- We went out to see "Knocked Up", which I know will be her favourite movie of all time. I really enjoyed it too, got some good laughs in it and was worth seeing. We actually had tickets to an advanced screening a few weeks ago but couldn't attend because we had visitors staying with us. Good movie, all was happy.
- Had our typical "nothing is happening" Saturday night of watching Iron Chef and betting on greyhound races. The Distraction had 4 out of 10 winners to cover both our bets and a minimal profit. I was hopeless.
- Nakamura lost in the Iron Chef battle, which was disappointing. The key ingredient was Udon which was also disappointing, but it was ok. We have had a very busy month or so and haven't had out quiet Saturday nights for a while, so this was good.
- The Distraction calls it a night so I sneak in some more online poker. Online wise, I have been going through a down swing after a very good up swing and am now below my original deposit. Of course I am just trying to get the PSO bonus, and I getting close to the cut off date for the bonus.
- Hmm, it seems more people want to bluff me. Thank you kindly – I have an up and down night but pull out a reasonable profit thanks to big hands holding up. Best hand was TT when I try to limp but person behind me makes a standard raise. Flop comes T44 – he has A4 and must be counting his lucky stars. We get it all in on the turn and I guess his dreams were shattered. Also won a big pot with AA on a all-in preflop. Board was ten high, and the hand history function was not working so I have no idea what the other guy had.
- Days profit was about $80, which put me $72 above my original deposit and 102 points short of the bonus.
- While I play online, I like to watch DVD's of TV shows, and my choice at the moment because I don't have any more poker shows) is "The Adventures of Brisco Country Jr". While I am only 1-2 episodes in, it looks fair. Nothing outstanding but enough to keep me watching.

SUNDAY
- We have one goal for the day. Last week we got a 120L fish tank, and wanted to put some rubber rock as a backing on it. The sealant said to allow 7 days for it to cure for aquarium use. Now we have to figure out how to get all the pipes for the filter, heater and air pump working without any instructions, as well as fill the damn thing without a hose. Surprisingly, everything goes fine and we make very few mistakes getting the job done in what would have been my best estimate of time.
- I get full permission from the distraction to get some more poker in online. I don't play too good, making little bets on the river when only a better hand would call what I have. Instead, I get check-raised and I call with Queen high flushes and the like, not winning what would have been a very small pot if I had just checked. I managed to work my way back to just above even while clearing more points for the bonus.
- Had some really nice Chinese take out, and finally watched "Talladega Nights", which wasn't as funny as I had hoped but had it's moments.
- Managed to squeeze in some more online time while watching Briscoe County Jr. Had some bad luck early and was down to $13 when I decided to top up. Good move, as I go on a mini rush and get some good cards and better flops.
- Interesting hand one – I have Q9 and the flop comes K56. 1 player bets 50c, I call because hey, it's 50c. Turn is a Jack, and he bets $1.50. I have a gut shot only, and he's making it cheap so why not? The river hits my gut shot and I bet the pot, he calls. Of course he bitches in the chat box, but I really think this is his fault for trying to slow play his flopped two pair. At least give me something to think about on the turn there son! But the good thing was, it made me look like a chaser so now my good hands will pay off. I am finding a lot of people are loving minimum bets on any street, just to get rid of the people that press the check/fold button I guess. Not that it's a bad idea, but sometimes it just makes me want to punish with large raises, which had been working for the now.
- Interesting hand number two, I have QT and try to limp, late position makes a standard raise and I call. Flop comes AKJ rainbow. I check raise him all in and he calls with AK. Really unlucky there for him, nice pot for me.
- Interesting hand number three – 23o from the big blind and get to limp. Flop comes 332, and I call the only guy that bets out on the flop. Turn comes an Ace, and I think that even if he has A3 I guess I am paying him off. I check, he bets pot (about $8) and I raise it to $22. I figure if he had a straight draw that hit or a good ace be inclined to call. If he has A3 he will see I am pot committed and will just push it all in. If he has any other three then he might put me on an Ace and think this is his lucky day, and all I have to do is dodge his kicker on the river. He just calls, which I think is a good sign. We both have just over $20 left, but he has me covered by $6. River is a T, and I push he calls. The one hand I didn't put him on is 22. He flopped the smallest possible full house and was drawing dead.
- After going down 30 odd I end the night up about the same amount. I now have more than $100 on my original deposit, and only 80 points to clear for the bonus, which should be a good 10 days or so, beating the deadline by a week.

While the interesting hands show some really lucky situations, You got to remember it comes from about 400 hands over the weekend. I had plenty of occasions where I made good bets, good laydowns and lots of good calls when the pressure was on. For the most part I was just creeping up above even and waiting for my spots. When they came, I was able to capitalise and my opponents had just the wrong cards to make it worth while. But it was good to be on the lucky side for once after a down swing. The down swings in the past have run for weeks and weeks, I am glad this one ended much faster than usual. And now I think I have a much more advantageous table image for future play – both online and at the home games.

A Real Aquarium

Lt. Frank Drebin: Congratulations, Ed! I hear Edna's pregnant again.
Ed Hocken: Yeah, and when I find the guy that did it...

"Naked Gun 2½ - The Smell Of Fear"

I had a bit of a poker binge over the weekend, with the expected terrible results that come with a poker binge after a long layoff. I dropped 3 buy-ins one late night, and then worked hard to get nearly a full one back the next day. While all this was going on, I also decided to jump into a MTT for the first time in a long time. I went ok, finished 11 th for a very small score but had fun along the way. I needed one suck-out to stay alive but otherwise I made moves when the time was right and my big pairs held up other times. For the most part I was folding and waiting – when the Distraction came home and we had somewhere else to go, so I through it all in with KQ and got called by AQ. Though I'm not disappointed, it was a bit of fun and kept me occupied for a while.

After a few quick sessions last night, I have managed to crawl back to even at UB, after being up nearly 33% on the initial buy in and then down about 25%. I'm happy enough with that since I am really just there to grind out the PSO bonus – of which they have plenty of new ones that will keep me busy over the coming months.

I am finding that I can adjust my play now to the type of players at the table. While I do not know many of them, the time of day is very indicative of the style of player, or at least it is feeling that way at the moment. After going on the mini-tilt earlier in the week I have been able to play some solid poker. I had a great little play on a hand where I missed my straight, but the river brought a flush. Heads up, I put my opponent at vulnerable to the flush draw and made what I thought looked like a value bet on the river. He made a tough laydown, as that card also hit him for three of a kind, but I congratulated him on a good laydown and indulged him by saying I had a full house.

Later, on a different table I didn't bluff but made the right plays against the massive stack at the table with pocket pairs both times. No bad beats or bluffs, just betting the right amount at the right time so all was good. I was happy to get back to even.

I have been reviewing my poker results through a spreadsheet I use, comparing this year to last and I surprised myself to find I am up on both per hour earning and, more importantly, overall profit. It's nice to keep track of these things, only for live games though as I don't have Poker Tracker or any others of the commercial software available for this kind of thing.

The biggest addition to the household has been an aquarium, for the Distraction's birthday last week. It is amazing what has to happen to these things before you can actually put some fish in there. It will be another two weeks at least before we start with the cheapest fish available, just to see if we kill them or not before we start getting the ones we really want. After spending $90 buying a small tank on eBay, we got given a much larger one for free but fortunately the eBay one came with a tonne of extras that will make it worth while anyway.

And then I can watch the fish all day while bleeding them online.

Poker Break: Non-optional

Toni Mannix: She's a lesbian, you know.
George Reeves: Who?
Toni Mannix: The one playing Lois.
George Reeves: Phyllis? Is she really?
Toni Mannix: No. She is now, as far as you're concerned.
George Reeves: Well... there it is.

"Hollywoodland"

I have played one SNG in the past week, and that was all the poker I got in. It has been a very busy week and the next to follow is likely to be the same, with the only chance I will get for even a hand will be on Sunday – and then it is a maybe. Withdrawal symptoms are sure to kick in and result in a down swing around the corner.

Speaking of which, I have suffered a 10% decrease is bankroll size thanks to the strength of the Aussie Dollar over the past few months. That affects it slightly too I guess.

In the one SNG I did play, I went out in about 6th or 7th. I played only two hands really and doubled up to be chip leader on the first one and then got down to last on the second one. Nothing really exciting at all happened, but that is the way it goes.

Managed to get see the new Fantastic Four movie last week. By far the most impressing thing about the night out was the Transformers preview before hand. Not to say F4 wasn't good, but my inner child is screaming for his Transformers. When the sound effect for the transform was heard, I was sold (as if I wasn't already).

Other than that, a fair portion of the weekend was spent at Aquariums, as the Distraction's birthday is this week and she has taken a keen interest in the home aquariums at our friends house. We're looking to get one started at ours, and after checking out the prices at the stores it looks like eBay will be our method. I'm keen to keep a salt water aquarium as they have more options for what creatures go in there and have generally more interesting fish. I mean, you need something different in these things, goldfish just don't cut it and it's a shame everybody has clown fish these days – we'll have to get something different to separate us from the masses.

And now a word from our sponsors:
"Full Tilt Poker Review"

World Series Of Prop Betting

Rusty Ryan: They built em smaller back then.
Danny Ocean: Yeah, but they seemed big.

"Ocean's 13

I have been trying to keep up on the WSOP, but interest is honestly fading. As everyone keeps saying, piles of people I have never heard of before are winning, and most of them we will never hear from again. Obviously there is the odd exception, but how many times can we get excited over the fact that some 22 year old who had never played in a casino before won a bracelet after qualifying for just $40?

Over the past few months I have been more fascinated by prop betting, and Pauly's tales of them since the start of the WSOP are better than the poker coverage – or at least a more interesting subject matter.

Searching the internet for prop betting stories, Ted Forrest's name pops up quite a bit and he has some great wins in his resume. Side bets and props bets have also become a regular feature of our home games, which was introduced to us when playing at an inner city game full of wild and crazy young guys (four bluffers to a pot, if you will). Being the tight playing consciences type of player that I am, and a little bit shell shocked by the action before me, at times it could be 15-20 hands before I saw a flop, and who knows before I had a shot at one. So we started to make little bets on the side for weather the flop would me majority red or black cards. If it was all red or black, then the bet doubles. We gave the prop bet the politically incorrect name "Africans and Indians."

Before long, in our regular game the betting on the A&I became more frantic than the poker. First it was between me and just one other player, and then it was two. When a third asked, I just decided to have the bet with the entire table on Indians, the hearts and diamonds, which was my usual bet. Of course, the flop come out all spades and I had to double the bet with each player on the table. I think I had the nut flush too, and I managed to break even on the hand. I have never played A&I since, and it is more scarce at the home games now too as it was getting out of hand.

My new favourite, as I said in a recent post, is to bet that at the next showdown, two pair with Kings or better will be the winning hand. If a hand is won before showdown, then that hand doesn't count and it goes over to the next one. I'd say my record for this bet is about 40% win. I have no mathematical basis for why the Kings-up is the line, but it seems to be about right for what goes on so far.

Other bets going around our table range from the "If we didn't fold, who would have won" between two pre-flop folders to the pub trivia variety. One player swore black and blue that Robert Deniro in "The Godfather Part 2" was not the same character as Marlon Brando in the original, even though he had seen the movie 20 times. We usually play on Friday nights when the Rugby is on TV, so there are always some side bets there to keep the players interested.

For a lot of these kind of side bets, I am at a disadvantage. I do not follow the rugby league so I have no insight into the games to form a basis for any bet. When it comes to the movie and music trivia, I am a decade younger than most of the table so their era of questions usually fly over my head. But I will share with you one of my favourite prop bets of all time, which has a nice hook for someone that may think they have an edge in this area.

How you work into the conversation the topic and the bet itself is up to your own sweetness and charm, but the trivia bet is "Name the first names of all the living Beatles". Most people assume there is a trick to this question, and usually it goes on of two ways – what is Ringo's real name or who was that guy that Ringo replaced? This is where the bet gets good, because if someone knows the answer to either of those two "tricks", they are usually blinded by their own sense of satisfaction to consider the other one. Ringo's first name is a common trivia question, and the answer is "Richard". Anyone willing to take you up on this bet would be able to tell you that one. The guy who was replaced by Ringo is also another common trivia question, maybe a little harder but the answer is Pete Best – but the question is what is his first name? That is actually Randolph, and I guarantee most people would not know that one. This can be a deterrent for some people to even take the bet.

It can also be clever if you offer to give them Ringo's name for free, and then that will lead your opponent down the path of trying to guess Pete Best's real first name, be it Peter or Pete and so forth. Then there is the discussion of "was he really a Beatle" – which I say the answer is yes, he played in the Beatles so why not?

And if anyone remembers that his name is Pete, then they would be willing to take you up on the bet. If they guess Rudolph, then they are sitting in a very good position. But there is still a small percentage of people that will guess the answer to the question "Name the first names of all the living Beatles" with Paul, Richard and Randolph. It is rare, but there will be some people that can come up with both Ringo and Pete's real name. If they do, then you might be loosing the bet but for the final little hurdle (and I admit, most people that know Randolph will probably know the last trick, but those that only know Richard will be taken in if you give them Pete Best for free, or even expressly not include him because he was fired.) The absolute correct answer, including Pete Best, is Richard, Randolph and … James.

You'll be amazed at how many people are blinded by the fact that they know Ringo's real first name, that don't know that Paul McCartney's middle name is Paul, and his real first name is James.

And hey, if they get you on that, then pay up.

A Little Balance Very Quickly

Susan: My psychiatrist thinks we should break up.
Philip: What? I didn't know you were going to a psychiatrist.
Susan: Well I'm not actually going to one. I've been dating one for four months.
Philip: This is so sudden!
Susan: I didn't want to tell you this over the phone, I really wanted to fax you.

"Mixed Nuts"

Poker is a crazy game. It is amazing what it can put you through sometimes, when you add in the elements of a few just as crazy humans. The swings are something that you just have to get used to.

I have made no secret of the fact that this year I consider myself on a down swing. I have seen more than my fair share of bad luck while still being able to break even or slightly better at times, while other times I was loosing money like it was a talent.

I thought a session online over the long weekend showcased this perfectly. In 58 minutes of play, I had won 1 pot and that was taking the blinds with a pre-flop raise. I had really only played two other hands, where I had JJ vs QQ (though I made a nice check on the river when I was beat) and another hand I don't remember but lost at showdown when my hand just wasn't good enough. No bad beats, just bad cards and no chances. So I am down to my last $10 when I get 99, and decide screw it – this is it, I am playing this hand no matter what happens. There is a pre-flop raise from a bigger stack, and I put in half my stack. Basically I'm saying the rest is going in eventually. He is the only one that calls and what happens? The flop comes 499. Yeppers, great flop for me but might have been handy if I had more than $5 to put in! I guess I could have reloaded at any time but I like I seldom do that for whatever reason, unless I am felted. Very next hand I had QQ and got no action, so I decided to call it a night.

Fortunately, everything else non-poker in my life is quite ok at the moment, so I didn't think about the losses too much and next time I had a chance to play some poker, the bad thoughts were nowhere to be found. And things started to go right. There is a bit of a hand history here, but then there is some poker theory at the end so hang in there!

Pocket Kings on the big blind, only the button plays and makes a small pot sized raise. SB folds, so we are already heads up and I decided to just call here and see what comes. Flop is QhKh6d, not too shabby for me. I check, button bets $4 so I make it $8. I like to do this with a strong hand, as slow playing is far too common and can be really obvious at times. If he has something he will call, if he has nothing then I probably won't be getting anything out of him anyway. He just calls, and now we see the turn. I probably put him on a heart draw, and if he isn't then he will probably put me on one too.

The turn is another queen, so now I am praying for that third heart to come out on the river. I just check it, letting him draw to it if that is what he wants, and if he bets any amount then I will call. He just checks, and the river is the most beautiful two of hearts. I hope he hit his hearts, so I bet out $10 and he comes back over the top all-in for another $30 or so. Easy call for me, and I take the pot as his Ace high flush is no good.

Ok, so the hand turned out perfectly for me on every street. The fact that he had more than a maximum buy-in and I had him covered was just icing on the cake. But the moment I want to talk about is the turn card where I made my hand.

I had put my opponent on a heart draw, and had the thought that AK was an outside chance. Lets assume the heart draw is true (which is was in this case, but that is not important). I have made my hand on the turn and really no river card will stop me getting all my chips into the middle. I believe I have a lock on the hand so our attention turns to maximises the value of the pot.

The amount of chips my opponent is willing to commit here becomes just as important as what the river card is. As in the hand above, if the heart comes for the flush then it is all beer and skittles for me. But what happens if that heart doesn't come on the river? It is unlikely my opponent would have called any bet, no matter how small, on the river if the 2 of clubs fell for example. Perhaps he could call out of curiosity, but certainly he isn't going to call any substantial bet. If the flush doesn't come, my best chance is hoping he wants to bluff or thinks I am bluffing – but I rate both as an outside chance and more than likely he would be in check/fold mode on the river rag. So the value point of the hand becomes the turn card – making him pay for his draw.

Usually most new players associate this with trying to discourage a player from seeing the river card – scare the player off calling for his draw. The difference here is he would be willing to pay for a draw, and won't pay for the miss. It is difficult to figure out what amount he is willing to pay for his flush – in this case with about a $20 pot (25c/50c blinds) I would guess he might even pay up to a pot sized bet on the Ace high flush. A pot sized bet though is nearly half his stack on a draw, I don't think it is a sure thing for him to call. $7-9 is far more likely, just keeping it below double figures. That is a decent sized bet considering the blinds and pot size. If the flush misses, at least I make a little more profit for him paying for a draw that missed. If the draw hits, it doesn't matter what happened on the turn necessarily, because at this level players don't expect you to bet out with such a strong hand and when they hit theirs the blinkers go up.

It is important to remember that in the hand above the pocket Kings are not the nuts at this stage, nor are they a lock on the hand. But really if he has Quads, or is drawing to Quads, Aces-full or a straight flush then chances are I am just going to pay him off if it hits, and there isn't much I can do about that.

And that is what I have been thinking about more – slow playing a monster by not slow playing it. Not that I do that all the time, but it can be an extra string to the bow from time to time.

That was how my online poker went for the past week, putting some decent profit into my bankroll there. It was funny how live poker proved to be very similar in function.

The home game was treating me terribly. My had bought in four times, and had a little of my third one back by 5am, a good 8 or 9 hours into the game. My night was going badly from the beginning, when I had KK beaten twice in four hands when all the money went in pre-flop. It was beaten by 67s (hit a 7 on the flop and river) and 78o (gut shot straight hit on the river). I had a flopped flush drawn out on another all-in by a king-high flush draw. I had Aces-up beaten by a better aces-up. I was feeling abused and looking in trouble. I have had to make a few very important withdrawals from the poker bankroll to buy important things like beds and pay bills over the past few months. In total, I have had to take out about 75% of the bankroll over the past 4 months or so for these various needs (I don't regret that, in the end that is what my poker bankroll is ultimately for, so ease financial pressure when needed). This accompanied with a bad year, meant the bank roll was rather dry. It will be a month or two at least before I can top it back up. After loosing three buy ins and having my fourth on the table, it was looking like I might be broke and not able to play home games for a month or so as I have a general rule of the old saying "neither a borrower nor a lender be".

And then I am dealt KQ in the small blind. UTG makes a raise, and there are a number of callers as is common in home games. The flop comes KQT rainbow, which I think is perfect for me. I just check, me and my sneaky slow playing, and BB also checks to the original raiser who makes a bet – nothing too large, nothing too small. I like it, and decide that perhaps he has a jack, or maybe there is a jack sitting in the BB and in that case, in this home game, I don't think I can push either player off their draw and will instead make them pay for it if it doesn't come on the turn. Besides, I might be able to coax the BB to call also and get more money into the pot. The turn is a King, and I have hit my hand beautifully, and now want to give both players a chance to hang themselves here. If he has the jack, I'll let him draw for his straight. If he has big slick, well I am in a very solid position.

I check, and the BB goes all-in for about $25. UTG thinks quickly, and then just calls. I know these players, and the "call" there doesn't mean a straight draw. It could mean a straight, but now I am fairly confident he has something like AK and would be willing to call any bet here. I have $34 left on top of the $25 call, and decide to push it all in here. By the time I finish counting out my chips, he makes a quick call.

I was a little shocked, because both players are fairly tight when it comes to an all-in bet, but I say "Guys, I've got the nuts." And then everything becomes clear as they roll over their cards. The big blind had AJ. He had the nuts on the flop and was just slow playing it until the turn, but now my Kings full has him drawing dead. I can understand why he committed the last of his chips there. Then UTG rolls over QQ – he hit his set on the flop and improved to Queens-full on the turn, but thanks to the queen in my hand he is now also drawing dead to the river. Both players had very strong hands, and both players had me beat on the flop that I thought was all mine. In effect I had two outs and one came on the turn – and now they are drawing dead for a $239 pot – which in this game equates to just under 5 buy ins.

Even I was in shock. I had not picked their hands on the flop – though it wasn't as if I couldn't get away from two pair if I had not hit the nuts on the turn, and when I did hit the turn it didn't matter what hand I put them on except for value sake. An absolutely perfect hand like that comes along very rarely indeed – as does being able to be paid off two ways on the hand. I went from being into the game for $200 to being in profit of $39 in one hand. In the next hour, I had a run of cards you could only dream of and at one point was north of $200 in profit – and it was only that small because I started to feel bad about taking so many pots and started making really large best when I had the nuts so I would not get called. It could have easily been another $100 or so, but when the shorter stacks went all-in, again I had them drawing dead. In one hour everything was erased from the previous 9. I gave a little back before nights end – and lost a little with silly side bets which were keeping everyone entertained all night (my favourite bet was that the winning hand would be better than kings-up.). I ended up $186 in front, which is my second best result for the year. With all the wild fluctuations on the night, most people ended up about even with a few early leavers making their donations before leaving.

Year to date, I am now actually ahead of last year and have recorded winning session in my last 5 outings. After a rough start to the year, things are looking a lot better as the good luck and the bad luck are starting to even out just a little.

Back To UB

Blade: You better wake up. The world you live in is just a sugar-coated topping! There is another world beneath it - the real world. And if you want to survive it, you better learn to pull the trigger!

"Blade"

I have been spending my online poker time in the past week at Ultimate Bet, just for the change of scenery. I played there a few years ago when I was going through a Poker Source Online promotion, and I recall having a really good run on the SNG's there at the time. In the past week I have had a good run, with the cards being not too nasty and I've been making some calls that I usually wouldn't make. I think perhaps I've made some moves at the right times too, which has helped.

But what I have become addicted to is the Blackjack SNG's. I only play in the $1 tournaments, but I have been having a great time while basically breaking even. I did see half an episode of the televised Ultimate Blackjack and I thought it was quite silly, but after playing one I found myself mildly amused by them and kept going. I've played maybe 15 and have won a couple, but it is interesting to try to figure out what tactics you can employ and when, considering the massive amounts of luck that are involved in the whole situation.

Live games are going to become very rare in the coming weeks, as the Distraction has me booked solid for various things. We had to bail out of a friend's birthday party last week due to an injury I sustained and the delivery of a new bed for the spare room – preparation for the arrival of more in-laws in the coming months. More fun to follow, that is certain!

I am also being dragged along to a pre-screening of the new movie "Knocked Up", which I understand opens in the US this week (not here for another month). The trailer for this film had me sold in the first 5 seconds with the first joke, and that was it – it looks like another easy chick flick that you won't be ashamed to watch with your significant other. I can't give you a full report on the movie as yet (though initial reviews look good), because when we went to the cinema last week for the pre-screening, tickets in hand and everything, we found out we were a little early. About 4 weeks early in fact. Oh well, what can you do but turn around and go home and watch DVD's.

Speaking of which, since the big release season has been disappointing so far (Ocean's 13 can save it for me), the Distraction and I have been going through some of the DVD collection. We have now watched the entire run of Red Dwarf on DVD (save for a few episodes that were on a disc I seem to have lost from series 7) and have now started again on Law and Order: CI. I love that show, and hope more of the seasons become available on DVD soon. Like going back to old friend's, this may soon become a thing of the past as finally, it has been announced that TiVo is coming to Australia. Albeit in 2008, and it may only be supporting one network at this stage, but it is a start.

Steady As She Goes

Elizabeth Swann: It would never have worked out between us.
Jack Sparrow: Keep telling yourself that, darling.

"Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End"

Our Friday night home games have been getting a little out of hand in the past month or so. People who used to go through 2-3 buy ins a night are now looking at 5-6. The big winner used to go home $200 up, and now it is pushing well above $500. I guess this is just part of the normal growth in a poker game.

The game was originally very small. $20 max buy in with 20c/40c blinds. But this turned into a silly all-in fest before long, so the limits were raised to where they are now, $50 max with 50c/$1 blinds. This worked for a little while, but now people are used to loosing that much and are really trying to score a big win. That has become the difference – a win is not enough anymore, and they need a big one.

Which means sometimes, you are also going to loose big. And that happens, though some players don't remember those nights as well as the other nights.

For me, this has been a frustrating time. I see what is going on, but I have not been able to capitalise on it. I was going through a very bad run where I seemed to be going up against the nuts all too often, and then became gun shy because of it. While I haven't had a big loosing night in a while, the big wins are not coming either. I have managed to get myself out of a hole a few times, and have got my yearly results firmly in the profit but it has been a grind. While I see others taking in $200 plus pots when they flop a monster, I have been grinding out $10 and $20 pots here and there when the board turns very scary and there is no action (for better or worse).

I wasn't happy with the way I was playing, the cards I was being dealt, the flops I was seeing and the rivers that were coming. It was all quite gloomy and made me wonder why I played in the first place.

But then, for what seemed like the first time in months, I got lucky. I hit a 2 outer when I had no right to even be seeing that river. This was a week or so ago, and I declared to myself (and no one else in particular) that the cold streak had been snapped. Fate/Karma/The Poker Demons had made their peace with me, and we would be returning to our normal scheduled programming.

For the most part, this has been true. Sure, I still get unlucky from time to time, still go 1-2 hours without dragging a pot while others flop straight-flushes from middle position and win 8/10 pots in some streaks. But now, I get a hand or two. I start to get in dominating positions and the hands hold up what would be a reasonable amount of times. Things are not running great, but they are a long way from the terrible way they were not that long ago.

I get dealt my two cards, and I actually feel excited about what I am going to do with them. I am not dreading what is coming next. I have stopped the bleeding, and now am working on the wound. I like poker again.

At our last home game, I as the only player still with their original buy in at the end of the night. Others were in profit by a lot more than me, but they had to reload to get there. One player revisited his ultimate lucky streak yet again, being unable to loose for a 3 hour stretch which included the flopped straight flush (against QQ no less) and quads, also countless straights and flushes. But it was lonely me as the only person that never ran out of chips, and I was only all-in on one occasion. I missed some hands I could have won, got bluffed off a few pots I really thought I should call and so on. But generally, I feel like I have a chance to actually play to win, not just play to avoid loosing. It's been better. Still err slightly on the tight side, but I will take that on board and see how it goes from here.