Friday, September 17, 2004

Hey, isn't that ...

Jay : Hey, wait a second! Aren't you the guy who fucked the pie!
Jason Biggs : You see! It's never "Hey! You're that guy from Loser" or "Hey you rocked in Boys and Girls." No, it always comes back to that fucking pie! I'm HAUNTED by it!
James Van Der Beek : You put your dick in a pie!
"Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back"

Very little happening on the poker front. Finally got hte computer fixed up at home, but I won't be going online until I can buy some protection programs this weekend to make sure this doesn't happen again. I've been too bloody tired to play poker at nights anyway, so maybe this was a blessing in diguise. The $55 to get the computer fixed up was not in disguise though, and hardly a blessing.

Party Poker screwed
Dr. Pauly and the rest of the people trying to win a trip to Australia. I hope they go to the effort to make it up to all those guys that lucked out on this. If Dr. pauly does manage to drag in a free trip to Melbourne, I'll have to fly down for a weekend and see what the action is like - but I think personally in is highly unlikely that I can raise $10K between now and Januaray to join in, so I'll just have to be a rail bird methinks.

Speaking of films (huh?), I love a good cameo, as I have stated before. Below in no particular order is my little list of top ten cameos of all time and why I thought they were so great.

Poker On Films "Greatest Cameos"

1 - Hulk Hogan, "Muppets from Space"
Let me just say I am a huge fan of the muppets. My favourite two muppets are Statler and Waldorf, the two grumpy old men up in the balcony. They are Gods.
This was an ok movie for the muppets, but is was funny to see Hulk as a bad guy. Keep in mind this was during the biggest boom period the wrestling industry had ever seen. Hulk Hogan was the biggest name in wrestling and after years of telling kids to drink their milk and take their vitamins, he turned into a bad guy. It was fantastic when Gonzo asked him about his fans, and Hulk...I mean Hollywood Hogan said "What do I care, I'm a bad guy now.". Gave me a chuckle anyway.

2 - William Dafoe, "Spiderman 2"
The Spiderman movies are awesome, this we all know. The second one though was a little different and it was weird how so many people got to see Peter Parker was Spiderman - inlcuding Mary Jane,which I guess had to happen eventually (but didn't Superman movies and the TV show go down hill once Lois Lane found out?). The ending sequence with Mary Jane running away from her wedding and then seeing Peter jump out of the window - as she gave her blessing to him with a "Go get 'em, tiger" was very moving - moving as in inducing gag reflexes. That was very cliche and I thought it was too easy. Now the scene just before that where Harry Osborne hears his father laughing, remnants of Norman Osbornes own madness, was brilliant. The movie should have ended with that scene instead as it left you drooling for the third installment. Honourable mention should go to Bruce Campbell for his cameos in both movies, but because his appearance was expected I gave the nod to Dafoe instead. Bruce is cool enough to not need me mentioning his cameos anyway.

3 - David Bowie, "Zoolander"
This movie was full of cameos, but David Bowie stood out - More than likely because they made sure you knew it was him which is usually a bad thing that means test audiences didn't recognise the fmaous face as they should have. I find that hard to believe in Bowie's case, but that is what they chose to do so life goes on. Bowie was bar far the coolest cameo in "Zoolander", so that's why he gets the mention here.

4 - Tom Cruise, "Austin Powers: Goldmember"
Another movie with shit loads of cameos, but Tom Cruise stood out because when the opening sequence was playing, I actually thought to myself that this looked like something Cruise would do in "Mission: Impossible". Besides, I don't think Tom does that many cameos so that makes this one all that more cool.

5 - Mark Hamil, "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back"
Full of cameos again, and again they had to announce who "Cock-Knocker" was to get a reaction out of the audience. I think it was justified on this occasion because it was crucial to the jokes to know who the actor was and he was also under a look of make up. The pay off for the audience is when he says "Not again" when he gets his hand cut off, ala Luke Skywalker. The pay off for Kevin Smith was he got to have a Bong-Saber fight with Luke Skywalker. I'm sure about 6 million people were jealous at this stage.

6 - Billy Idol, "The Wedding Singer"
Adam Sandler loves his cameos, even if it is just to hang out with a childhood hero for a little while. On the plane in the penultimate scene for the movie, Billy was an absolute perfect match for this mpvie dedication to the 80's. Sure, he did look a little older than what he may have really looked in the 80's, but we all cna't be perfect.

7 - Carl Wethers, "Little Nicky"
Carl Wethers, better known as "Apollo Creed" from the Rocky movies was great in "Happy Gilmore" as former golf pro Chubbs Peterson. Sadly Chubbs died half way through the movie only to look down upon Happy from heaven. This is what made the cameo of the character in "Little Nicky" so damn good. Sure, this movie again was full of cameos, but the story behind this one, and it actually does make sense, gives it all that more power. Sure, Ozzy later in the movie was a great cameo but it wasn't anything special compared to Chubbs. Remember, "it's all in the hips!".

8 - Kyle Gass, "School of Rock"
Awesome movie, and I am a huge fan of "The D". Kyle Gass pops up in most of Jack Black's movies, certainly since Tenacious D grew in stature. To be honest, I could have picked a number of movies for Kyle to have as his best cameo, but I liked this movie the most out of the list and the fact that he is playing a gym teacher is even better. I suppose technically a cameo should only appear in one scene for it to qualify as a cameo, but I'll let it slide for just this once.

9 - Kevin Smith, "Daredevil"
Piece of shit movie, which was very dissapointing. Even the product placement was pathetic - I mean, Ben Affelck's father was a poor, out of work, down on his luck boxer desperate for money - but he drinks Heineken by the case. It was sad that I noticed that. But seeeing an up-beat Kevin Smith playing a scientist was a very pleasant surprise.

10 - Frank Abagnale Jr, "Catch Me If You Can
I thought the book was fantastic, and while the movie strays from the truth a little (as all bio-pics tend to) it was still a good movie. It must have been a bit of a laugh for the real Frank Abagnale Jr to be the one that arrested his likeness for the movie. If only he dug a few cheap shots into Leonardo Dicaprio while he was at it. That would have made it awesome. Much like Erin Brockovich making a cameo in the movie of the same name, it is popular for the subject of bio-pics to pop up from time to time. But since that movie was really shit house, I gave the nod to Frank instead (and also because this movie had Christopher Walken in it - instant classic.).

Feel free to blast as you see fit. There are heaps more I could have mentioned, such as Lou Feringo in "Hulk" or...Damn, I so forgot to mention Victoria Silvstedt in "Baseketball", that was an awesome cameo. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar has some fantastic ones under his belt too. Wow, so many more are coming to me now that I forgot about (Mike Tyson in "Crocodile Dundee 3". What, you didn't see that one?). I'd be interested to know what other people think and who would be on their list. Notcie I didn't mention Johnny Chan in "Rounders" - thats because I didn't think it rated up there with the other cameos. If you want a perfect example of how not to do a cameo, see James Van Der Beek in "Scary Movie". he climbs in a window, says "Wrong set" then leaves. Utter crap. Compared to Kareem, he is an amateur. Kareem rules. Also special mention to Mr T in "Not another teen movie" - which was a great movie no matter what the critics say. I'm a fan of the spoof films, especially Leslie Nielson. Anyway, I'm starting to ramble now ("The New Guy" - underated film with heaps of cameos, best for me was either Gene Simmons or Henry Rollins) so I'll sign off and hopefully have some more poker related content next time.

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