A Good Loss?

Sean: That's why I'm not talkin' right now about some girl I saw at a bar twenty years ago and how I always regretted not going over and talking to her. I don't regret the 18 years I was married to Nancy. I don't regret the six years I had to give up counseling when she got sick. And I don't regret the last years when she got really sick. And I sure as hell don't regret missin' the damn game. That's regret.
[pause]
Will: Wow... Woulda been nice to catch that game, though.
Sean: I didn't know Pudge was gonna hit a homer.

”Good Will Hunting”

It was weird at the digital tables last night. Very strange day, all things considered.

For the first time in a long time, I had an excellent day at work. Our Guinness World Record attempt is coming along great, and they even made new rules specifically for our category. I also thought of the most brilliant marketing strategy ever, even if I do say so myself. Man, I was feeling good and that accompanied with a thought that we could get an $8K holiday voucher off eBay for $2K left me in a daze (I have since come to my senses about the later and realised it wasn’t legit, very –EV but I was able fold without loss).

So as I trotted home for my near-daily ritual of playing poker before the distraction come home, my mind was elsewhere. I was not fully concentrating on the games and I knew it, yet I couldn’t change it. I finished 2nd again in another SNG, but the profits were eaten up by a $25NL table. MP raises pre flop, LP and I both call on a King high flop with two diamonds giving me four to the flush. Little raise, I call. Turn is the 7d, board hasn’t paired. I raise, MP calls the other guy folds. River is another 7, and MP makes a minimum raise into a $15 pot. There were warning bells going off, but I convinced myself he had AK and my flush was good. Of course I re-raised him all-in and he called and showed KK. Bye bye buy in.

But the funny thing was, I was kinda happy about it. See, I’ve had bad runs at the tables before, and they are crushing and make we want to give up the game totally. I have had good runs that usually last just a day and mean a decent cash in a MTT at best. I have never had a good run like I am having now – a modest win on a daily basis. And it has been going for nearly 3 weeks. I knew I was due for a down session sooner or later. I am just not that good to be winning all the time. And here I was, a loosing session. I was down $6 and happy that the streak had been broken and I had come out of it ok. My spirit wasn’t broken, and the bank roll sure could handle the small loss. I felt very calm. I felt relieved. What the hell is up with that? I’ve never felt like this after loosing, especially online. Sure, it a live game you can loose and still have fun, which usually happens, but not online (blogger tables excluded). Why do I expect such a swing in fortunes and then feel relieved when it came? Or was this just the start of a big downward swing? With some macabre sense of fate abound, I decided to tempt the Gods. I re-bought.

I justified it in my mind because I was only doing this to clear the bonus. I made the fatal mistake yet again of looking at the cashier screen. I was 72 cents short of the magical $600 mark. I plugged away and hit bugger all, and loosing $5 or so on a hammer bluff than got called all the way down by TPTK. The distraction came home, so did the room mate. I decided to play out the hands until the big blind came around and then call it quits. I was able to limp from late position with 44 and told myself I need to hit the flop or fold. I did just that, on a K94 rainbow flop. My opponent had a King and called my all in on the fourth suited turn card, and I doubled up with everybody home watching me. I went back to the cashier screen, and it read $611.

I should have shut the computer down right then, but I didn’t. I walked away, but I didn’t turn the computer off. It was left there – with the red optical mouse glowing, the small orange button on the monitor joining in, despite being in power saving mode. It blinked every now and then – mocking me, in a slurred Morse Code.

I ate dinner. I watched TV. I felt a little tired. I got bored with TV. I didn’t want to go to bed yet. The lights were tempting.

I went back in. I knew what I was doing though. I would try another $10 SNG just to keep me above the $600 mark.

I was getting my ass kicked. Nothing was coming off, I made some suspect pre-flop calls (K8c, but their sooted!) and looked at a very small stack. And this table was very different. 2 players out on the very first hand (which if I limped I would have won), another player out before the orbit was finished. Again, with a massive short stack, I was forced to play some shit cards and hope for the best. While on the big blind, I was isolated by one player. I already had $400 in blinds on the table, and I only had another $200 to kick in. I had T8o. Really, there is only one thing to do here, and it helped that perhaps they were on a blind steel, or just bullying the short stack as they should. I had to go all in, and they flipped over 66. Paired the 8 and doubled up. Somebody loves me.

From here I was able to double again and on the bubble, we had four pretty even stacks. I was lucky enough to have the blinds folded to me twice, which was a relief because my cards were 8 high at best. The player to my right knocked the other two out and eventually he beat my KQs with J9s when he paired the nine.

So I went from relieved at loosing to having one of my better sessions on the night, up a little over $40. I hope I have more down days like this coming.